Spoilers Sweeties! What's to come in season 9 - The Carver talks!

This week saw the release of some juicy new tidbits about what's to come in the second half of season 9.

Entertainment Weekly caught up with Jeremy Carver and asked some of the burning questions that we've been asking amongst ourselves. Jeremy, in his usual spoiler-phobe way, tap dances around most of it, but he does give some intriguing answers.

Here's a look at the interview with some of my thinky/not-so-thinky thoughts!

The death of Kevin Tran hit us all where it hurts, in our Supernatural bits! I, for one, was a little traumatised by the image of Kevin's smouldering eyeballs! But is Kevin permadead or Supernaturaldead? Sounds like he's permadead... BOO!

JC - I know it’s going to hurt. And it’s with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to Kevin. With any luck, being Supernatural, there will be a way to perhaps see him sometime down the line, but it’s with a very heavy heart that we see Kevin be murdered.

Murdered sounds even more horrible! Though of course Kevin was totally murdered by Gadreel, but still...that sounds so harsh. We know that Supernatural is ingenious in how it can bring back beloved characters, so with a bit of luck, somehow, someday, we may see Kevin again...but it's not sounding very likely. I repeat...BOO!

What about Dean's decision to allow an angel inside his brother. We all know why he did it and we know it was from a place of love, but it's turned out to be one of the most catastrophic decisions Dean has ever made. So what does it all mean and how will Dean deal with the fallout?

JC  - ...He made these two crucial decisions that affected the boys’ mythology [stopping Sam closing the gates of Hell and the whole angel fiasco] and to watch particularly the second one turn into a heartbreaking failure is really what’s going to be driving Dean from here on out in the season, starting with he’s going to do whatever it takes to track down this angel and eject him from Sam. And that’s going to lead him to making alliances that he never thought he’d be forced to make. But he’ll do anything, basically, to try to right what he, I guess, considers one of the biggest mistakes he’s ever made.

Hmm alliances. Better the devil you know? I hope this means Crowley gets out of the dungeon! I've been starting to worry about him! He's been chained up for an awful long time! Yes, yes, I know he's a bastard, but he's an entertaining bastard! We know from the trailer for "Road Trip" that it looks like Dean does in fact make some kind of deal with Crowley, but if he'll do anything, could there be other deals to be made?

What about Dean's emotional state? It looked like something broke in him at the end of "Holy Terror" and Lord knows the guy is an expert at kicking himself. He blames himself for everything, even things that aren't entirely his fault. He wears guilt like most people wear clothes. So how is Dean going to cope with knowing that his actions not only led to his brother being absconded with by a rogue angel, but also to the death of Kevin?

JC -  ...Dean finds himself, I think, a bit unmoored by this with really no one but himself to blame. And as we know, Dean’s go-to is blaming himself anyway. And the fact that he’s right this time, hits him hard. And I think we’ll find him struggling with this for quite a few episodes. Now, I think things get serious, tense, sad and people get angry. But I don’t think in any shape or form that things get mired in sadness. It’s not like we’ve thrown a 600-pound weight on this. Things are kept moving and brisk. You can throw a pity party all you’d like but there’s always a monster around the corner waiting to be killed. The last thing we’re going to do is, whether he wants to or not, no one is going to get a chance to drown his sorrows.

Um. I don't want to spend episode upon episode watching Dean self flagellate again, so I'm glad to hear that things are not going to be mired in sadness. The guy made a terrible mistake, but it was just that, a mistake. He could not have foreseen where this was going to go. He was lost and panicked and made a bad move and I hope that at some point, he gives himself a break and if he can't I hope someone else does. I really, really hope a certain someone else does, because that would fill my heart with pride and joy. It's going to be ugly, I'm not kidding myself but if Dean starts on the scotch again, we're all in trouble!

Okay, the big one...Sammy. Sammy, can you hear me? Are we ever going to get Sam back? Of course we will, we all know we will, but how long do we have to wait?

JC - That’s a little tricky in that we have people on different paths. We’ve got Sam who’s being possessed and essentially taken over by Gadreel, an angel who’s done this horrible thing. And we’re going to reveal that Gadreel is more complex than we even may have presented him now….I think we’re going to see Gadreel put through his paces a bit more by Metatron in terms of going down a dark path.

I'm a little over the whole angel thing to be perfectly frank. I want Sam back and where I could be interested in finding out a little more about Gadreel and what his story is, not at the expense of Sam, thanks so much. I want that angel out of Sam pronto! I think more so now that I know the angel is not some benevolent force but some dude on the run with way too many connections to Lucifer and a bad rap that he's out to avenge, or fix, or whatever. That all sounds like bad juju! So cast him out of Sammy, please. I'm cool if he heads back into his original vessel if we need to get a better look at his motivations, if that's important to the scheme of things, but....GET OUT OF SAM YOU WINGED DICK. There, I said it.

Speaking of angels, Cass is all angelfied up again on someone else's mojo...so what does that mean to our re-trenchcoated friend.

JC-  Now that he’s an angel again, he’s going to have to find his place in this angelic battle, and it may not be the place he imagined for himself, which is going to confront him with some choices he perhaps never thought he’d have to make. So he’s right back in the fire, as it were.

I think Cass needs to be the one to angel blade Metatron and get those angels back upstairs where they belong. I'd be cool if that fell on him. I'd also be cool if Heaven got locked up forever even if that meant Cass got locked up to. I think that would be a great redemption arc for Cass - to have to make that decision, for the good of Heaven and Earth to send the angels home, even if that meant he'd have to give up any kind of earthly existence. A tragic, yet heroic climax to his story.

We've heard some rumours about returning characters and new characters, what does the Carver have to say about this?

JC - It’s going to be a combination of introducing some really really wonderful new characters into the mythology while also seeing a lot more of some of our favorite friends returning in the back half. For example, Dean’s journeys will lead him to an encounter with none other than Cain [guest star Tim Omundson] of Cain and Abel and that will open up a whole new branch of mythology for the show that is going to have significant impact on the rest of the season and throughout the series. That’s a very exciting new story vein we’re opening up. And we’re going to get an answer to where the heck Garth  has been this whole time and viewers will remember he sort of went AWOL when put in charge of guarding Kevin back in season 8 and we’ll answer this question, and I think it will be surprising. And there will be hugs. I think we can rest assured we’ll be seeing the return of The Ghostfacers. They will be making a return in what actually is a really fun and pretty emotional episode. And we’re going to do a heck of a lot of digging into the men of letter’s lore. We’re going to be going even deeper into that and introducing new characters and taking a deeper look at some men of letters characters we’ve even met before. That’s a storyline that continues to pay off for us in a fun and exciting new way. Then I can tell you we’re going to see some people we absolutely did not expect to see. And it’s all a result of the events that have happened here in the last season and a half. 

Weeee! This all sounds a bit less depressing! I'm totally looking forward to the Cain storyline and what this opens in the mythology. What will it show us about the Winchester brothers and how far back their destinies go? Michael and Lucifer. Cain and Abel. Dean and Sam. Blimey!

I must admit I've not really been wondering where our old buddy Garth has gone, but I guess it'll be good to find out what he's been up to. I am a tad intrigued by what JC said. Has he been in prison or something?!

"Ghostfacers" is one of my favourite episodes...mostly because I love the bleeped out swearing and I desperately want to see an uncensored version with Jensen and Jared letting the expletives fly. Hot! I hope they use the Ghostfacers characters well. I actually thought the best use of them was in "It's A Terrible Life".  I loved their handy ghost hunting hints! I'm interested to see how they pop up again and what the hell they've been up to. I don't think that TV career they were hoping for panned out.

And people we absolutely don't expect to see? Colour me wanting to know more, like NOW!

Last but in no way least...in fact, this is the thing that concerns me the most, how long are we going to have to suffer before the brothers are reunited? None of us enjoy them being split up, no matter how the show does it, or how much the Js say they dig playing it...we don't like it, so how long this time?

JC - We frankly go where the story takes us and the story is about two brothers who go hunting monsters in their Impala — no one is more aware of that than we are. So in the same way that some folks may have been complaining that Castiel was apart from the boys when he was human, I like to think he’s gone on a pretty interesting journey. So to cut right to it, the boys might be apart but they’re not apart that long. We’re invested in good story but we’re also not crazy.

What are we thinking here, 1-2 episodes? Sam re-Samified in 9.11 and 9.12 sees the guys back together dealing with a truck load of brotherly crap? Or maybe it's a few more that that? Lordy I hope not. 

What's the longest they've been apart episodically speaking (not talking Hell/Purgatory trips etc.) I mean, they've 'broken up' a few times and have spent parts of episodes apart, but somehow always end up together again. How often have they spent whole episodes apart because one did something the other one didn't like or whatever? They were estranged for "Free To Be You And Me". I think that was the only episode? Wait. Was that the only episode? Every other time they've found their way back together, even if begrudgingly, in the episode following the episode they fought in, or even by the end of the same episode. So, yes, I don't expect it to be long, because I do think the show knows that the brothers are better together and it's why the majority of us watch. Of course, how long they're separated emotionally, well that's another ball of wax. 

So there's a little bit from The Carver and some of my thoughts on what he said.

There's one thing that wasn't mentioned that I really want to know; will the Crowley shooting up blood thing mean anything/come to anything/be forgotten? I want to know what on earth that was all about. I'm still assuming he was jonesing for a fix of humanity and that might come into play with how he interacts with the Winchesters moving forward. Or not.

What do you think about these teasers? Have you got any theories/thoughts on what JC had to say? What "people we absolutely did not expect to see" would you like to see? Feel free to leave your ideas in the comments!

You can read the entire artcle here on ew.com

Stay strong! It's not long now and this accursed midseason hiatus will be over!

And in case you've forgotten, here's the trailer for 9.10, "Road Trip" the first episode back next year! NEXT YEAR! GAH!

Thanks for reading.

-sweetondean

Supernatural Fanvid of the week - "These Tornadoes Are For You" by SecretlyToDream

I'm going to start posting my favourite fanvid of the week. These might be fanvids based on show content or ones put together from convention videos or cast photos. 

I work in TV - I produce and edit promos and do other stuff, so I love to watch what people are doing with fanvids and how they tell their story.

If you're a vidder and would like to submit something or you'd like to suggest a fanvid, please contact me via the contact form on the sidebar.

So, here's the first vid in this new weekly thing I'm gonna do!

It seems fitting that it would be from SecretlyToDream. Loki is a remarkable vidder and a talented story teller. 

This vid is a heart wrenching look at the brothers and their journey through the trials. To where it all left Sam and consequently Dean... beacause there ain't no me, if there ain't no you.

Just your average uplifting Supernatural stuff! ;D

Enjoy!

Spoilers Sweeties! Supernatural episode titles 9.10 - 9.16

sweetonspoliers!

So, as we patiently (not patiently) wait for the next new episode of Supernatural, let's look at the upcoming titles. Of course, these may change, but at the moment, this is what we (think) we know.

January 14 - 9.10 “Road Trip”

January 21 - 9.11 – “First Born” 

January 28 - 9.12 – “Sharp Teeth”

February 4 - 9.13 – “The Purge” (previously “Let the Fat One In”)

MINI HIATUS (Booooo!) - This is during the Winter Olympics

February 25 - 9.14 – “Captives” (previously “Old Friends”)

March 4 - 9.15 – “Blade Runners” (previously called “Back in Black”) 

March 11 - 9.16 – “Thinman”

Usually an episode title in someway relates to not just what's happening in episode but often, on a deeper level, where the mythology is. Layers. Supernatural love their layers, even when it comes to titles!

One thing we do know for sure, 9.11 has Timothy Omundson staring as Cain, of Cain and Abel fame - so there's the first born reference! Apparently this will open up a new arm of the Winchester mythology. How I love a bit of back story!

So what are your thoughts? Feel like throwing a few theories around about what these titles may mean?

-sweetondean

Supernatural - Women of Letters Podcast episode 15 - 2013 in Review!

On this edition of the Women of Letters Podcast

Jules from the Superwiki and I chat about our favourite moments from the show throughout 2013.

That means we talk from 8.10 Torn and Frayed to 9.09 Holy Terror, looking at pivotal moments that have informed where the brothers are now but also all the fun and hot stuff!

It's the all Aussie Supernatural podcast - in case you were wondering about the accents!

You can listen and download via Podomatic

Or via iTunes

Another Notch In His Bones - A Supernatural Fan Fiction

Dean sat. He just sat. Where he’d crumpled. He didn’t know for how long. It could’ve been minutes. It could’ve been hours. The horror of what’d just happened was so great his mind couldn’t grasp it. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t cry. He couldn’t move. So he just sat. Sat staring at Kevin. His burnt out eyes, boring into Dean’s soul. Carving another notch deep into his bones. Where all his guilt lived.

Dean just sat.

When the cold of the bunker floor started to reach into his blood, Dean got up, every joint creaking. He stood looking down into the face of the young man he’d grown to think of as family. The eyes had stopped smouldering. The skin was pallid. Dean knew with out even touching him that Kevin was cold.

Dean took a deep breath and ran a hand back through his hair, closing his eyes as he swayed back and forth. Then he turned and strode from the room.

When Dean returned he had a sheet. He shook it out and gently laid it over Kevin’s body, dropping to a crouch to pull the edges down, so that the young prophet was covered. There Dean stayed until the muscles in his thighs burned and screamed out in pain.

Pain. Pain was good. He deserved pain, he thought.

Pushing up he span on his heel, walked up the bunker stairs and out the door.

When Dean returned it was dark. He was covered in dirt, his hands were scratched and bleeding, but he didn’t notice. He walked over to what had once been Kevin and dropped some rope to the floor that he’d retrieved from the trunk of the Impala. He crouched down and hefted Kevin into his arms. Walking to the large table in the middle of the room he laid Kevin out gently. Dean then went and got the rope and proceeded to wrap Kevin in the sheet, tying the rope around his legs and torso, around his head, to keep the sheet, now acting as a shroud, secure.

Dean pulled Kevin from the table and gently placed him over his should. He walked up the stairs and back out the door, staggering under the weight of the body. He traipsed down the road to a crop of trees. He walked through the trees, stumbling in the dark until he reached a clearing. In the middle of the clearing, stood a pyre.

Dean laid Kevin across the wooden structure and stood back breathing heavily from exertion and emotion.

“Kevin,” he said, “I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I brought the enemy into our home. Whether I knew it or not…well, I shoulda known better. I left you unprotected. You were my responsibility and I left you unprotected and it got you killed. I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve…”

Dean stopped and shook his head, his eyes were blurring as silent tears rolled down his cheeks.

Dean reached down and picked up the kerosene tin at his feet, moving forward and splashing the liquid across the pyre.

“I let you down. I let you down, man. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Dean fumbled around in his pocket for his lighter.

“Kevin, you deserve this. A hunter’s burial. You went out doing the job.”

He stepped forward in the dark.

“Kid, you were family. You are family. Sam and my family. Always will be.”

And with that Dean tossed the lighter onto the pyre and watched as the flames danced and grew, as the wood crackled and burned and as the fire engulfed Kevin.

Dean stood there in the dark until the last ember had stopped glowing. He dug a hole and buried what remains were left. Covering where the fire had burned. Making sure he left no evidence behind. And as the sun started to rise, Dean made his way back to the bunker.

As he walked in the door, the enormity of it all hit him. The silence was palatable. He could feel the emptiness creep into his heart and set up shop there.

He dragged his feet down the stairs bone weary and covered in dirt but he didn’t head to wash up, instead he headed to Sam’s room.

He almost knocked on the door, part of him hoping that this nightmare was just that, a nightmare but instead, he pushed the door opened and looked inside feeling as if the space was a vacant cavern.

Rage suddenly gripped him. He lashed out, sending books and files half way across the room. He grabbed Sam’s mattress and tossed it with all his strength against the wall. He screamed at the top of his lungs, “SAMMMMMMMM”, before folding down onto his knees, his head against his chest as violent sobs wracked his body. He threw his head back, teeth clenched as anguished sounds that even he didn’t recognise rose in his throat.

He breathed in and whispered, “Sammy”.

Dean sat there on the floor crushed and broken until he wasn’t. Then he got to his feet. He picked up the mattress and laid it back down on the bed frame. He made Sam’s bed. “Kid never could make a bed for shit” he mumbled to himself. He picked up the books and files scattered across the floor and neatly stacked them back on the shelves. He left the room without looking back, closing the door behind him.

As he walked down the hall of the bunker, Dean prayed out loud. “Cass, I know you can hear me now, man. I screwed up. Big time. Sam’s gone and I need to get him back. I need your help. Just get here, as soon as you can. I need you Cass.”

Dean walked into the room where he’d last seen his brother. Where he’d watch an angel he didn’t know, kill Kevin and walk out wearing Sam as a suit. He stood absorbing the desolation, gaining strength from his grief.

“I’m coming for you, you son of a bitch,” He yelled, knowing full well that the angel holding his brother hostage could more than likely hear him.

“I’m going to get you back, Sammy,” he whispered.

Wavering for only a moment, Dean walked into the Men of Letters library, grabbed a stack of books and tossed them on the table. He was filthy and exhausted and emotionally spent, but that didn’t matter. Somewhere out there was his brother and Dean wasn’t going to rest until he got him back.

He grabbed a beer, grabbed a book and set about trying to find away to bring Sam home. He could sleep later because, right now, he had work to do.

THE END

If you'd like to read more of my fanfiction, please visit my fanfiction page: sweetondean fanfiction

Supernatural - Women of Letters Podcast episode 14 - Holy Terror, Batman!

New Women of Letters Podcast

In this edition of the Women of Letters podcast, Jules from the Supernatural Wiki and I talk about the mid-season finale. We discuss our thoughts around the loss of Kevin Tran, Dean's actions in keeping the secret about the angel inside of Sam, what's happening to Sam, this new cat, Gadreel and Metatron as well as a few other bits and pieces.

You can download and listen via podomatic here.

You can download and listen via iTunes here.


EDIT!!!! Look who listened to our podcast this week!

Review - Supernatural Mid-Season Finale: 9.09 "Holy Terror"

I woke up the morning after "Holy Terror" with images in my mind of Kevin Tran's smouldering empty eyesockets, Sam’s feet going up the stairs and Dean in a crumpled mess on the bunker floor crying one perfect tear and saying “Kevin….Kevin.” Those images have been bouncing around in my brain ever since this episode finished…

Is it January yet? Please let it be January.

Well, we knew it was going to be bad and bad it was. Like really bad. Like really, really bad!

Before I get into this, I need to say something... I liked this midseason finale a hell of a lot. I thought it was well written, emotionally powerful and for the most part, pretty well paced. It delivered on the promise of what our expectations of what a Supernatural mid-season finale should be and usually is…bloody painful! But…you knew there was a but didn't you... But...I don’t give a flying fudge about the angel war. Like not even remotely. I just don’t care. Lock them in some arena somewhere, pop the roof on and let the S.O.B.s all kill each other in a blinding white flash, because I just…don’t…care. A couple of times on the first watch through, I found myself going, shut-up whoever you are, move along and get out of the way of the characters I care about! I know some people are digging the angel war thing, but I’ve been slowly but surely falling out of love with the whole notion of random-angels-coming-down-and-doing-stuff-to-humanity-to-forward-their-irritating-agenda thing. This episode sealed their fate in my eyes. They are irredeemable. Give me demons any day; they seem to have more honour (and way more personality). I'm hoping as we move further into the back end of the season, the story becomes more about how we get the winged dicks home, rather than the warring factions.

I’m talking about the random angels here, not the angels we already have a relationship with, because they’re a bit different and everything outside of the random angel stuff was a blast...TO THE HEART!

Metatron, I’m interested in. Interested in seeing him get his come-uppance! Curtis Armstrong is playing him so well, because he’s despicable and I’m really hating on him! He gives me the weebies. Metatron’s an artful manipulator with a God complex – or maybe it’s a little angel complex – because standing next to Sam, he’s teeny! I bet he has vessel envy! Anyway, he’s a nasty piece of work and I can’t believe both Castiel and Gadreel fell for his crap, hook, line and sinker. I know he said he doesn’t want the dumb angels…but geesh; he’s certainly getting the gullible ones!

I’m a little confused about his plan. I’m assuming now he has Heaven as his very own playground, he wants to take it to the next level and become the ruler of his Heaven…as a God named X. X? X!? What, has he been watching too many spy movies? These angels and their God complex. Their daddy needs to get home, pronto and put them all in their place! Metatron's going to go down in a big way and I’ll be cheering when he does, but I have to say, he was fun to watch in this episode because he was so sleazy in the way he coerced Gadreel, who must be a little dim quite frankly…or I guess, desperate.

Right so, Gadreel (not to be mistaken with Gadriel who is a totally different guy). Well, I gasped. I guess I always assumed it was Ezekiel inside Sam and though I definitely doubted his intent, I never doubted it was him. So when Metatron called Zeke out as this other angel, (he must have been spying or something right, to know that Gadreel was hiding out as Zeke) I literally gasped!

Gadreel…the parallel angel!

I see him as a parallel for Castiel, so desperate to right what he did wrong and restore his reputation that he’s fallen into Metatron’s trap. Just as Castiel did. Cass wanted to return Heaven to its former heavenly state, wanted to redeem himself for all the damage he caused when he was stuffed full of Leviathan and wanted to rebuild his good reputation. He wanted to make all his wrongs right and he thought Metatron was the answer. Gadreel seems to be under the same misconception.

But I also see Gadreel as a parallel for Sam, which I think is way more interesting.

Gadreel let Satan into the Garden, though he indicated that he didn’t mean for that to happen, it wasn’t his doing, I’d really love to know more about that. Sam let Satan out of the cage and back into God’s garden, which of course, he had no idea would be the outcome of his actions.

It’s so interesting to me that the angel that would answer Dean’s prayer and take possesion of Sam is an angel so closely tied to Lucifer, when Sam was Lucifer’s vessel. I wonder if this is in anyway going to be significant or was it just a nice tie in for the show when choosing an angel for this storyline. Did Gadreel know who Sam Winchester was and what Sam Winchester had been? Or because he was locked up for thousands of years, did he just answer Dean’s prayer thinking this was a great opportunity for him to steal a vessel and hide out.

Gadreel’s story is also a lot like Lucifer’s. Gadreel was God’s most trusted. Lucifer was God’s favourite. Gadreel betrayed God by letting evil into the garden to corrupt God’s new children. Lucifer betrayed God by not kneeling before and loving God’s new children. Gadreel was locked up for his sins. Lucifer was cast out and locked up for his sins. Gadreel and Lucifer both ended up in Sam… Gah!

Interestingly too, according to various texts I’ve been reading since this angel was revealed to us, it is written that it was either Gadreel or Azazel who introduced warfare to mankind. Azazel. Another familiar name!

It probably all means nothing…but I think it's a very nice tie in to the mythology surrounding Sam Winchester.

Maybe Gadreel’s desire for redemption, like Cass trying to fix Heaven, or Sam sacrificing himself to the pit to stop the Apocalypse, will play out somehow. Maybe, though we're all not loving the guy now for obvious reasons, he will play out differently. Like nearly everyone on this show, he’s living under the shadow of guilt and of the ramifications of past actions; will his redemption somehow play into the remainder of the season? Or is he just another dick with wings.

I have to say, now that it’s been revealed who the angel inside Sam really is, I like it a lot. Though of course I so don’t like it…if you know what I mean! Oh Supernatural...how you fill me full of conflict!

My assumption is that Gadreel has not been healing Sam at all, just hiding out. Or, was Sam possilby not in as bad a way as the angel formerly known as Ezekiel said. Was what Gadreel showed Dean the truth? Was that really what was going on in Sam's mind when Dean saw Sam talking to Death, or was that a manipulation in order to get Dean over the line with Gadreel's plan? Maybe Sam is okay now, or at least, not mostly dead, or maybe he’s not…which is a thought I don’t like to entertain in the slightest! I have a feeling there’s every chance Gadreel could have healed Sam with the placement of his hand right from the get go, but went with this charade to ensure his own safety and continued anonymity. Which totally blows!

Gadreel must have heard everything that was said between Sam and Dean, that’s why he was able to say to Metatron, how screwed up both the brothers are. He must have been listening in the whole time. That’s how he heard Kevin and Dean talking, because he was listening in THE WHOLE TIME! Freakin’ creeper. We probably should have twigged that Gadreel had become Sam when Sam didn’t blink at Dean’s reference to Sam having been a long time getting beer. It was Gadreel from the moment he overheard the conversation about the sigil. I had a sneaking suspicion when Dean was spilling the beans that it wasn’t Sam he was talking to. It seemed like Sam, but it made more dramatic sense that it wouldn’t be Sam. Gadreel's obviously been tapping into Sam's thoughts and feelings too, because he said pretty much exactly what I was expecting real Sam to say. It’s just so damn horrible the whole thing that I’m struggling to get my head around it. I really dislike the angels. Like with a burning heat of a thousand fiery suns.

My take on Gadreel saying, “There is no more Sam” is not that Sam no longer exists, or is dead or has been destroyed by Gadreel, it’s that Gadreel has ‘permanently’ taken possession of Sam. So as long as Gadreel is in Sam, Sam is not there…but not literally, if you know what I mean. Gadreel can keep Sam suppressed so that essentially, there is no more Sam…until Gadreel is evicted from Sam’s body.

What will happen when Dean does get Gadreel out of his brother...which I’m hoping happens in episode 9.10, because I can’t stand the thought of Sam being trapped and suppressed in there any longer! I was thinking about how Jimmy Novak said that he remembered some of being possessed by Castiel – and I just went back and read the transcript of that part of “The Rapture” and was surprised by the word ‘possessed’ because I couldn’t remember that word being used in relation to angels prior to this season. Will Sam remember anything? Or will Sam remember nothing. And if he remembers nothing…will Dean actually tell him the truth?

And then they killed Kevin (yeah I couldn't help but say “you bastards” either!)

As much as many of us had discussed the fact that we thought Kevin was a goner, it sure as hell didn’t make it any less shocking. He’s a kid, you know? I mean, just a kid and he got his eyes burnt out and it was horrific. I’m so damn sad about it because I’d grown to like Kevin (don’t even start me on Osric). He’d become part of the Winchester’s rag-tag family and he’d really come into his own. He’d done nothing but try to live up to the role force upon him and look, look how it all turned out! A-wah!

I kept thinking back to “What’s Up Tiger Mommy” when Crowley said to Kevin, “I know we're not mates, Kevin, but one word of advice – run. Run far and run fast. 'Cause the Winchesters – well, they have a habit of using people up and watching them die bloody.” Ack!

Of course, the writing was well and truly on the wall when Kevin said he always gets screwed for trusting Dean. Gosh. The fallout from this is going to be gut wrenching.

Had Dean told him the truth, would Kevin had his guard up and been able to protect himself? Maybe not given the power an angel has…but you know as sure as hell that’s what Dean’s going to be thinking and it's going to be one of the things gnawing on his bones.

I think something broke in Dean when he watched as Gadreel in the guise of his brother, killed Kevin. When he fell to the floor and started to say Kevin’s name, “Kevin…Kevin…” I literally thought, oh crap, he’s finally cracked.

Everything that has happened, everything that he's done is going to crash down upon him. He’s been running on a razor’s edge ever since, in a fit of fear and panic and through the veil of grief, he made the choice to have an angel possess his brother. We know why he did it. The thought of living without Sam is something Dean can't even entertain. I’m sure he probably knows how wrong it is to live like that, but he can’t stop himself and now, look how it’s all unfolded. He’s lost his brother; he’s lost Kevin…my heart breaks for him. His decision was flawed but he did it from a place of love and we all knew it was going to bite him on the ass, but I don't want him to going down this path of self hatred again. It's just going to be too painful to watch.

I found myself driving to work this morning wondering how the brothers are going to get through this one. We all know, that according to Jensen, Dean goes to a very dark place after this. I wonder what that’s going to entail. He’s going to be wracked with guilt about Sam and about Kevin. About being foolish and desperate enough to allow an angel into Sam in the first place and then about Sam being utilised as the instrument that caused Kevin’s death, someone Dean had vowed to protect. How is Sam going to come to terms with all this? If we were concerned about how he was going to react to his brother’s decision regarding the angel, how is he going to react when he finds out Kevin is dead and how he died? I'm fascinated by this story and how it's unfolding but I'm deeply traumitised by the fact that we're all having to go through this! I know the brothers will find their way back from it…because, well, that’s the show after all, but the fallout from this scenario terrifies me. Totally terrifies me.

This is Dean's worst nightmare. He didn't want to lose his brother, but his own actions have caused exactly that to happen.

I see Dean as quite capable of completely falling to pieces after this one. Maybe this time that will happened. He’s teetered on the precipice of collapse many a time; maybe this will be the final nail in that coffin. Without Sam there to keep Dean balanced, will he finally crash and burn?

Gosh this show's a cracker, isn’t it?

The theme of this episode and of the season so far seems to be, I did what I had to do (actually, that could be the theme of the whole damn show).

Dean did what he had to do. He did what he had to do save his brother’s life. He did what he had to do when he ejected Castiel from the bunker. He did what he had to do when he lied to everyone to ensure that his secret was not discovered before Sam was healed.

Gadreel did what he had to do. He did what he had to do to prove his loyalty to Metatron so that he could have the opportunity to return to Heaven and redeem himself.

Castiel did what he had to do. He did what he had to do when he took another angel’s Grace. (Yay by the way, good on ya Cass!) He did what he had to do to protect himself. He did what he had to do to position himself for the coming war.

Everyone is doing what they thought they had to do for the greater good or the good of those they love and we're all going to have to live with the ramifications of their choices! Gah!

So now Metatron has the tablets, which I assume does have something about reversing the angel spell - that illegiable bit - which is why he must have wanted Kevin dead and the tablets back in his grubby little hands. Does that mean that Crowley knows there’s a spell too? That, as we all suspected (including Dean), he was lying when he said the angels couldn’t go home. What is his motive? Control? Power?

Castiel has his Grace back just when Dean needs him and his knowledge and powers the most. Hopefully that means no more torture for Cass! I wonder what Cass will think when he finds out what Dean did…

The only person who can read the tablets is gone *sob*

Dean is lying on the floor of the bunker an emotional wreck... *sobbbbb*

And just as I feared the most, the angel possessing Sam has kidnapped Sam! *screams running from the room*

And we’re all sitting here ringing our hands for the next SIX WEEKS. Damn you, Show. Damn you!

This is a fantastic set up. I’m really excited about it all. Excited and scared out of my tiny little mind...with a side order of sick feeling. I simply can’t wait for the next episode. I’m desperate to know what happens. I was picturing in my head Dean all on his own, giving Kevin a Hunter’s burial – he deserves one. My head scene is killing me...

I wonder if we’ll pick up where we left off? With Dean alone in the bunker a crumpled mess (alone apart from Crowley of course). I assume the first thing Dean's going to do is pray for Cass to come - or you know, just ring him. Because he needs someone. Someone to confide in so that he can try and figure out how to get Sam back. Thank goodness the CW released a promo! I don’t think I could have stood it if we just went into to this HELLATUS (and it so is hellish this time) with nothing to give us any idea of what’s coming next. Though we really don’t know what’s coming next or how long all this badness is going to take to make rightish. That promo was full of awesome and a whole lot of worrisome stuff!

But all I want is Sammy back... Can I have that for Christmas please? I've been good *shifty eyes*

I have a lot of faith in the Winchester brothers and I have a lot of faith in their love. People always kind of laugh at me for that…it’s okay, I know you do…but I really do have faith in them. For me, they are the heart of this show. Their hearts are the heart of this show. It’s why I keep coming back, to watch them continue to fight for each other and continue to love under the most trying circumstances. I never give up on them because they never give up on each other. As much as I wonder how they will ever be okay again after something like this, I know that they will, because I see that as one of their great strengths, their ability to move forward together come what may. There is function in their dysfunction and that function is love. I don’t see that as a bad thing. Sure, they could probably turn it down a notch or ten! But hey, their world is extreme…I don’t expect them to live or love like average people.

So I sit here for the next six weeks, full of dread but also full of hope that eventually, things will be okay again, because these guys always fill me with hope. I can’t help it… They kind of own me, you know?
-sweetondean