"Supernatural" Review - Will Sam and Dean Finally Purge Their Inner Demons?

A lot of people have been asking me what my take was on the conversation at the end of “The Purge”. There’s a reason I didn’t write up this episode and it wasn’t because I didn’t like it, or was angry or any of those things. It was because a while ago I stepped away from a place where the commentary on the show was getting me down and starting to affect my enjoyment of it. For a while, I considered giving up writing about the show altogether, because Supernatural is too important to me and I love it too much to have that experienced marred by my inability to separate myself from other’s opinions. That inability to not be affected by other peoples’ anger or despondency or disillusionment is all on me. It’s no one’s fault but my own. But I know I’m not alone in not being able to do this.

So I decided “The Purge” could wait until things calmed down.

Then my elderly dog – he’s 15 – got diagnosed with diabetes (actually on the day “The Purge” went to air!) and dealing with that and what that means and trying to figure out what’s right and what’s wrong has taken up all of my time and emotional energy.

But Harry is doing well and we’re taking it one day at a time as we see how much further our journey together will go. So I guess it’s finally time for me to weigh in on the whole “The Purge” shebang. To be honest, stepping away and allowing myself time to absorb and react without the first bloom of over emotive emotions was probably the best thing I could have done.

I’m an eternal optimist and that hasn’t changed. So let’s get that out there right now. I believe in this show. I believe in the people producing it. I do not believe for one moment they are wilfully or consciously trying to destroy any characters – because, really? I’m not even going to bother with that. I believe in and always will believe in Sam and Dean.

I’m also a realist. I don’t think two men in their 30’s who have been through the kinds of trauma these men have been through would react the same way to each other as two men in their 20’s who hadn’t been to Hell and back quite literally. They just wouldn’t and I’m glad of that. These characters have grown into profoundly deep and thoughtful human beings and I love every aspect of both of them.

I’m also realistic enough to know and appreciate that families fight, sometimes bitterly and violently but that doesn’t mean they don’t love each other and that doesn’t mean they don’t find a way to forgive and move past the anger and end up having a better more honest relationship because of the honesty that at the time seemed hurtful and harsh. Yes, I am speaking from experience.

So do I believe this is the end of the magnificence that is Sam and Dean. No I do not. Do I believe that they can find a way back to each other that has truth and realism and value? Yes, I do.

Had this situation played out any other way. Had Sam essentially forgiven Dean or buried his anger and hurt. Had they simply got on with the family business without any of this being dealt with I would have felt gypped and I know the fandom would have feel gypped too. Sam deserves to be allowed his anger, even if we don’t like it.

I’m reminded of John Winchester when Dean first stood up to him: “…I'm not too crazy about this new tone of yours, but you’re right.” That’s kind of how I feel about what’s happening now with Sam.

Of course his words hurt. They hurt like crazy. I was as gobsmacked as everyone else. But he was angry and was being honest in saying that for him, how their relationship currently is, it’s not working and then there’s Dean saying, well I’d do it again. Red rag to a bull – which is probably why Dean said it. Hurt and angry words usually get hurt and angry words in return…tragically, that’s just people.

But yeah, initially there was a part of me that was pissed. 1. Because Dean’s face and heart was so broken and 2. Because Sam’s words seemed to lack the understanding needed to allow his brother to hear them. Sam said I just want to be respected and have my choices for my own life respected and I would always respect what you want, even if it’s not what I want. Dean heard Sam doesn’t love me enough. I’m not enough.

But hasn’t that been the conversation these two have been battling internally now for 8.5 seasons? More to the point, aren’t these the issues we’ve been dealing with since season 1?

Sam originally left the family business to pursue a dream because his choice for his own life was not being respected.

The Yellow Eyed Demon nailed Dean when he said, “You know, you fight and you fight for this family, but the truth is they don’t need you. Not like you need them.” Right there, that sums up Dean’s greatest fear… still does.

When I stepped back from the emotional upheaval of what transpired after “Road Trip”, I started to see a picture forming – maybe just in my eyes, but…

How I’m seeing all this is that Sam and Dean’s core insecurity/issues/hopes/dreams/needs of their brother have been front and centre from the beginning of season 8. Playing out through Dean’s feelings around Sam choosing a different path when Dean vanished without a trace and now Sam’s feelings around Dean making a choice for Sam that he knew Sam wouldn’t want.

So what if what we’re seeing here is the show finally bringing out these things that have haunted their relationship with each other and their feelings about themselves and letting them actually talk about and deal with them? I mean that would be something right?

The conversations started in season 8 with Dean’s speech about just being a grunt and death is all that awaits him and with Sam’s speech about how he wants to live and he sees a different life, but so should Dean and he’ll take Dean with him to the light he sees at the end of the tunnel.

It was continued in “Sacrifice” with Sam confessing that he’s always felt like he’s let Dean down and that Dean doesn’t trust him and Dean saying there’s nothing past or present that he would put in front Sam.

That conversation was just the very beginning of what needs to be said between these brothers. It was a wonderful moment, a shining light in the series, but it was just a beginning and it was tragically cut short.

And now we find ourselves here…in season 9 with everything coming to a head. It may feel like a backward step, but maybe it’s the only way to revisit and further the conversation that was started in that church.

How can these two move forward in a place of love and trust if they continue to sweep their feelings of doubt, hurt, anger and bitterness under the rug? They can’t and they haven’t since Kripke broke their trust in season 4.

So, I’m not going to sweat this. I’m going to look at this as maybe, just maybe the beginning of them actually dealing with their problems once and for all.

Because I don’t want Dean to live in a state of fear and desperation that at any minute his brother is going to leave him and he’s going to be alone.

Because I don’t want Sam to not trust his brother’s love because he feels like his brother doesn’t believe in or respect him or his wishes.

I want them to know and feel the love that we know is there, always.

The angry words, yeah they hurt and yeah, maybe I’m not crazy about this new tone, but I understand it and I’m hoping that this is the beginning of a better place for Sam and Dean Winchester.

Because, once again, they’re fighting for each other and fighting to stay together.

Sam could have easily not have got in that car or he could have easily just got in and never been honest with Dean about how he is feeling and what he wants. But he didn’t. This is Sam fighting for his relationship with Dean.

Dean could have stayed in the car and let his brother walk away instead of getting out of the car and laying his need and heart out in the open. He could have walked out of the Men of Letters bunker and never looked back after Sam’s words cut him to the quick, but we know he didn’t. This is Dean fighting for his relationship with Sam.

I want what everyone wants. I want the brothers to be all twisted up in each other’s lives but I also want them to be happy about it. I want them to want to be together because they love each other as profoundly as we love them. I want them to be happy driving down crazy street with their brother by their side. I want them to enjoy being brothers again. Enjoy being together. They’ve been ploughing through so much blood and crap since season 4, they haven’t had time to really look at each other. I’m hoping, right now, this is their time.

And when we get there, the result will have so much more value, because it would have be fought for. The best things come to those who never give up…just like Sam and Dean.

You can call me an optimist you can call me an idiot…I don’t really care either way. I believe in Sam and Dean. I believe in their love and I believe in Supernatural. This show is yet to let me down and I know it won’t this time.

So I’m sticking with the Winchester brothers, because if they can fight to stay together, I can fight for them too.

How do I feel about that last scene in “The Purge”? I feel like it could be the first steps towards purging the brothers’ inner demons and the beginning of better times for the Winchesters – well, in their relationship at least - and I can’t wait to see where we go next.

Supernatural might be painful sometimes, but it’s always compelling and thought provoking.

-sweetondean

Review - Supernatural 9.12 "Sharp Teeth"

Man, this was a tough episode and a tough one to write about. I’ve struggled to put my thoughts together and I’m not sure I successfully have. I feel like I’m just downloading a whole bunch of messed up emotions! Only the Winchesters could do this to me…

I guess somewhere inside I knew it was going to get bad between Sam and Dean, but I wasn’t emotionally prepared for the hit to the guts that “Sharp Teeth” finished on.

I have to believe it’s going to be okay, because otherwise… Well, let’s not go there! The brothers, how they love each other, that’s the heart and soul of this show for me. They’re my heart and soul…

“Sharp Teeth” was a monster of the week episode, which focused on a familiar theme; is what makes a monster purely being a monster or is there more to being good or evil. There were also some nice parallel stories, like the werewolf preacher whose wife was killed by a hunter, but instead of giving into hatred and revenge he decided to concentrate on raising his child in a loving, safe environment. You couldn’t help but look at the road the Winchesters travelled after their mother was killed and their father chose a different route. There was also an interesting narrative around revenge. The Reverend says to Dean, “…The road to revenge is a dark and lonely one, which you never get off. And that hole in the pit of your stomach, you never fill it. Ever.” John sought revenge for Mary’s death; the werewolf stepmother was seeking revenge for the death of her brother. Revenge never leads anywhere good and it’s absolutely the path that both Sam and Dean are currently on. A path that has caused them plenty of pain in the past and will no doubt cause them more pain in the future.

Of course we also had the return of Garth. Garth disappeared about six months ago, leaving Kevin unprotected and Sam and Dean no clue as to whether he was dead or alive. As it turns out Garth was bitten by a werewolf whilst on a hunt and was saved from self-destruction by another werewolf called Bess, who he in turn fell in love with and married. He felt stupid and I’d imagine somewhat concerned about the Winchester’s reaction, so he chose to disappear. Not something you do to friends and certainly not something you do to Dean, which Dean made abundantly clear. Sam and Dean don’t have many people in their lives they can call friends and Dean makes sure they hang onto those that they do have.

I quite like Garth as a character. He can sometimes be a tad earnest, but there’s sweetness to his nature that’s rather enjoyable. One of the things I’ve liked about Garth in past episodes is how perceptive he is. He’s often been incredibly perceptive about the brothers and has reflected back to them truths that they can’t see for themselves, either about themselves as individuals or about their relationship with their brother. I was hoping Garth would be utilised like this again, Lord knows these brothers need someone to speak to them openly and honestly at the moment. I mentioned last week how I thought this was a recurring theme of season 9, with Sheriff Mills, Castiel and even Crowley giving the brothers some home truths. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen in “Sharp Teeth” and Garth was not utilised in the way I was hoping. Bummer. I was looking forward to a little Garth delivered wisdom! Though what he said about Sam and Dean when introducing them to Bess, was pretty spot on!

It turned out to be Dean that shared a little wisdom with Garth and I couldn’t help but think that he was also talking about himself and Sam…

“You got something here. Okay?... Don't let that go. Okay? You'll never forgive yourself.” 

Just moments before, Sam had walked out the door and Dean’s face as he watched his brother walk away was full of grief. I’m sure it was seeing Garth and the love he had found and Dean’s moment of clarity in the advice that he gave Garth, that made Dean get out of the Impala at the end of the episode and reach out to his brother so openly.

But while the werewolf story held some interest for me around Garth and the new mythology about being bitten or born and the interesting parallels and themes, I've got to be honest, the thing I was pretty much focused on was the Winchesters and how on earth they were going to get back together… Because I needed them to. Like, a lot.

From the moment of their first, awkward meeting, over the comatose Garth, I watched them like a hawk. Hoping against hope that they would somehow find a way to reconcile.

*sigh* Not so much. The episode ended with the brothers in the worst place, emotionally speaking, that I think they’ve ever been in. The words that were said by Sam to Dean for me were the harshest ever said by one brother to the other, because they hit at the core of what they are, family. It hurt. I won’t lie. It hurt like hell. 

But when I rewatched “Sharp Teeth” I was struck by something I didn’t noticed the first time around; the physical proximity between the brothers.

Though they were obviously emotionally estranged, or at least attempting to remain emotionally estranged, everything in their body language seemed to be telling a different story.

Apart from the obvious connection when they were hunting, the hand motions, the in sync kicking of the door, the easy working relationship, how they dropped into their usual routine and roles, there were moments of physical intimacy between them that under the circumstances seemed surprising and incongruous.

There was the touching. Both brothers tapping each other on the shoulder, Dean when he saw the cameras tapping Sam, Sam when the Sheriff called tapping Dean. They sat so close to each other on the Impala that their shoulders were rubbing. Normally I wouldn’t even blink at this, this is who they are, but when you’re so angry with someone you are on the verge of disowning them, is this familiar physicality something that would happen or would you be creating a physical space as well as an emotional space?

Then there was the mirroring. When they waited for Garth to come out of the bathroom at the hospital, their body positions were almost a mirror of each other. Their bodies faced each other with their hands resting on their legs in a similar position. It was fascinating body language for a couple of brothers on the outs!

Then there were the furtive glances at each other when the other wasn’t watching and the obvious interest in what each other had been doing. Dean asking where Sam had come from, Sam asking about the mark on Dean’s arm, Dean snarking about Sam and Cas playing Teen Mom, Sam commenting on Dean working with Crowley – both sounding a little put out about being replaced!

It’s quite possible I’m reading too much into these tiny details, but it’s the tiny details that paint an entire picture. Whether these actions were scripted or not, or simply happened through the ease of Jared and Jensen’s working relationship, or were layered into the performance by the actors, I don’t know. Certainly if scripted and directed this way, these small actions seem to speak to what is at the truth of the brother’s relationship and are in direct opposition to what the brothers were saying. Which makes total sense. Because though hurting and angry, I don’t doubt that Sam still loves Dean. That’s why he’s hurting and angry. If he didn’t care…he wouldn’t care.

What I also saw as an important action, in fact the most important action, was the fact that in the end, Sam got in the car and rode away with his brother…

Sure, he was saying they could continue to work together to share the crappiness, only as hunters not as brothers, but as hunters they have to put their lives in their partner’s hands and if Sam trusted Dean so little and was distancing himself from his brother to the point he was verbally stating, would he or could he let himself rely on this familiar trust? Or more to the point, would he choose to spend long hours riding next to someone he absolutely didn’t want to be around and had no interest in repairing a relationship with? Hmmm.

Sam never said they were done, he said something was broken. Things that are broken can usually be fixed… right?

Yeah, call me overly optimistic, but for me this was the most interesting layer to this episode in relation to the brothers, what I perceived as the gulf between what their words and what their actions seemed to be saying. 

Not that any of this made Sam’s final speech to Dean hurt any less. It hurt like crazy all around! But it also seemed real. Had Sam simply said, “Okay” and gone with Dean without stating his anger, hurt and distrust, it would have felt fake and dissatisfying and frankly, would have just meant that they were heading towards the same old issues, the same old mistakes and the same old problems and we’d be retreading that ground with them. We’ve wanted them to sort through their crap for a long time now. Maybe this is what needs to happen for them finally to work through the parts of their relationship that keep tripping them up.

However, I have to say I was and possibly still am a tad confused by the entirety of what Sam said to Dean.

I completely understand his anger over the Gadreel thing. I get that. Dean knew he’d be mad. We knew he’d be mad. It was never going to end well. These guys are the Winchesters after all.

Sam made a decision about his future and Dean essentially overrode his brother’s decision. He tricked his brother into saying, “Yes”. He allowed an angel to possess his brother and that angel went on to cause horrific damage and murder someone that Sam and Dean both loved, while wearing Sam’s body. I understand why Sam would be absolutely furious, as much as I totally understand why Dean did what he did, I think we all understand Dean enough to understand that. 

One could argue that Sam did have a choice in that moment. No, not in regard to the angel, but he did have a choice between choosing the path he was set to take with Death or choosing his brother. He asked his brother what the plan was, his brother said trust me and Sam chose to trust him no questions asked. He did make a choice in that moment. He chose Dean.

Of course, Sam didn't know what he was agreeing to and Dean went on to withhold the truth from Sam as to what was truly happening (ignoring the fact that the angel would never have consented to Dean telling Sam). I wonder what would have happened if Dean had come clean? Is it the talking Sam out of his choice to die that Sam has an issue with, or is it the breach of trust and lies that followed, or both. Probably both.

But Sam’s comment about what happened in the church during “Sacrifice” was troubling. 

“Back in that church, talking me out of boarding up hell?”

Was he doubting that Dean’s motivations were anything other than to have Sam live? Is Sam implying that Dean somehow duped him into not closing the gates of Hell? Does he doubt Dean’s love? Or was Sam simply saying that Dean said he’d always put Sam first and then almost immediately went back on his word by putting his own desires for Sam to be alive ahead of Sam’s desire to go with Death. 

(Though one could also argue that Dean was thinking of Sam too, because Sam had chosen to live at the end of “Sacrifice” (“The whole reason I stopped doing the trials was not to die.”) Ack! There are 10 sides to every argument and I can see them all!)

I’ve listened to Sam’s final speech in “Sharp Teeth” over and over and I’ve listened to other people’s interpretations and I’m still twisted up by what he said. 

To me and to most of us, that moment in the church at the end of “Sacrifice” was something that we’d been longing to hear. It was a verbal confirmation of the love between the brothers that we hold to be true and for most of us is the core of this show. A moment of honesty where Sam told Dean how Dean’s words had made Sam feel over the years and how this had affected him. A moment of honesty where Dean told Sam just how damn important he was to him along with a moment of ownership over some of the pain he had caused Sam in the past. For me that conversation was something that I’d been pining for since the trust between the brothers was broken during season 4. It was raw and open and heartfelt and needed and I loved every single syllable of it.

I don’t want that moment undermined or tarnished. I don’t want that moment not to be true. I don’t want Dean’s words, “Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you.” to lose their meaning for us or for the brothers. I don’t want them to be seen as anything other than they were, a profession of love. I want Sam to believe them like he did in that moment. Those words are the heart of Dean Winchester and for me, at the heart of the brother’s relationship. Please don’t take this away from us, or them.

But using this scene certainly gave what is going on between brothers some extra clout and certainly raises the emotional stakes. From that point of view, it absolutely did its job! Look how we've all reacted!

What has happened in 9.10, 9.11 and 9.12 is pretty much a reverse of what happened between the brothers at the beginning of season 5.

In 5.01 and the aftermath of the demon blood episode, Dean told Sam he could no longer trust him, and wasn’t sure if they could ever be the same again.

“You were the one that I depended on the most. And you let me down in ways that I can't even... I'm just—I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here. You know? ...I just don't...I don't think that we can ever be what we were. You know?” I just don't think I can trust you.”

At the end of 5.02, Sam told his brother that he was a danger to be around and thought he should leave and Dean said he wouldn’t stop him.

“I need to step back, 'cause I'm dangerous. Maybe it's best we just...go our separate ways.”

“Well, I think you're right.”

The brothers spent an episode apart (5.03) before Dean made contact with Sam at the end of 5.04 and saying the “I just know we're all we've got. More than that, we keep each other human” speech.

To some degree in “Sharp Teeth”, Sam acknowledged that they help to keep each other human in agreeing that when they hunt together they share the crappiness, but that’s where the similarities stop.

Dean: “Okay, look. Whatever happened... We are family, okay?”

Sam: “You say that like it's some sort of cure-all, like it can change the fact that everything that has ever gone wrong between us has been because we're family.”

Dean “So, what -- we're not family now?”

Sam “I'm saying, you want to work? Let's work. If you want to be brothers... Those are my terms.”

I swear to God, in this moment you could actually see Dean Winchester’s heart break.

If you’re going to hurt Dean, this is exactly how to do it and I’m pretty sure Sam is well aware of that fact.

Family is the basis on which Dean operates. Family means everything to Dean. His self worth is all twisted up in family and his need to be needed, his need to take care of others, his need for Sam. Without all of that, in Dean’s eyes, what’s left, what does he have, what is his reason, what’s the point?

Dean is so broken and vulnerable right now. Everything in him is screaming out in pain. He stood in front of his brother and poured his heart out, admitting to being messed up, admitting to knowing he took a piece of Sam in the process of everything that went down… Basically asking his brother to come back to him…in as many words as Dean is able to muster (while shuffling his feet and looking awkward). It was one hell of a moment for Dean and definitely showed growth and understanding in his character.

It killed me. Owies. My Winchester brother loving heart.

Of course, Sam is right. Family does not give you blanket forgiveness. Dean was all for doing a couple of hunts and putting it all behind them. Typical Dean. Anything to get his brother in the car. Sam said no, that’s not going to happen this time, because that wouldn’t change anything and for Sam things need to change.

But to blame everything that has ever gone wrong between them on them being family? Noooo. For me, being family is what makes them so damn special. 

I hope Sam doesn’t really believe that. I hope all this is coming out of him being so deeply hurt by his brother's actions. This is what I assume. He's hurt and wants change and this is how it's all coming out...I mean look at these watery eyes...

So, why are the Winchesters being put through this? More to the point, why are we being put through this? I have to think there’s a reason. I have to believe this is going somewhere that will heal the brother’s hearts and consequently heal ours. Sam is hurting and grieving and full of anger and guilt and this has to be impacting his feelings about everything. Sam taking this tough stand with his brother could be the first step towards repairing what is broken between them. Making them look at their relationship. Stopping them from repeating the same mistakes, the same hurts, over and over. They aren't on the same page and they need to work out how to get there.

Maybe with Dean bearing the Mark of Cain, this is where the brother’s roles will shift. Maybe it’ll be the little brother who has to reach out and save the big brother from whatever burden he has destined himself to and the darkness currently eating away at his soul. I would love that more than words can say. I would love Sam to do that for Dean. I think it would help Sam’s sense of self no end and I think it would help Dean see that his brother really does value and love him, because I’m not sure Dean’s ever been entirely clear on that. Now even less so… Dean could do with a little saving and Sam is exactly the person to do it.

If this is where we’re going, a place of more equality, greater acceptance and understanding and some much needed harmony between Sam and Dean, without reducing their love or need for each other of course, then hey man, I’m all for it, but do me a bloody favour Show, let’s get there quickly because this shit hurts too much.

It may not sound like it, but I loved all the Sam and Dean stuff in “Sharp Teeth”. It was deep and real and full of emotion and drama and all the good things I watch TV for. The writing was note perfect. The performances gut wrenchingly beautiful. It’s what takes this show above the regular fair on network television. Writing and performances that strip us bare and make us talk and argue and over think and feel all our feels to infinity and beyond.

I have a lot of faith in this show and these writers and in Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki and the love I know they both have for their characters and their character’s relationship. I trust them all to look after Sam and Dean. I trust that there is a plan in place, as Adam Glass put it, a long play and we're on the road to better days and I'll just hang on and ride the whirlwind that gets us there.

Yes, I want my brothers back together, but I want them to want to be together out of love, not because they know no other way. I’m happy to suffer for them, if that makes them happier in the long run. Because I love them. Both of them.

Sam obviously wants to fix their relationship. Dean obviously does too. This is good.

And let’s remember one thing, the most important thing…

In the end, Sam still chose to be with Dean.

-sweetondean

If you want to hear more about what I think about this episode, listen to the latest Women of Letters Podcast where Jules from the Supernatural Wiki and I go deep into the themes of the episode and the final moments with Sam and Dean.

Listen here

Supernatural News: The Week That Was - January 26 Edition

This week the news was all about RATINGS RATINGS RATINGS!

Episode 9.11 "First Born" was the most watched episode of Supernatural since the season 6 premiere!

Supernatural got a 1.1 and 2.70 million viewers. But not only that, the show got a 1.6 in the coveted female teen demographic. 1.6! That's a 5 year high!

Add to this the news that the combination of The Originals and Supernatural gave the CW their most-watched Tuesday night since October 2008!

For a show in its 9th season, it is almost unheard of to have these kind of increases in ratings. But Supernatural, the little show that could, has!

You can read more about our ratings slam dunk in my article here which also looks at how Supernatural is the only returning drama on the CW to grow its audience and more on the bumper Tuesday night in the Variety article here.

Helloooooo early pickup? Come on down season 10!

Woohoo!


In a nonspoilery interview, Jared spoke of the brother's relationship to Vlada Gelman at TV|Line.

Jared predicts that, "it’s going to take something big” to bridge the gulf between them.

“They’re handling it as you expect them to,” Padalecki adds of the conflict. “Sam kind of goes introverted and Dean goes forward. Sam is more the kind of guy that thinks something out and says, ‘Well, you know, this is where you messed up [and] this is why I’m upset.’… It’s nice dichotomy to catch on camera and, hopefully, Jensen [Ackles] and I get a chance to do a good job with it.”

Oh course the guys will do a great job! (Just wish they didn't have to. GAH)

And this from E Online:

"We're definitely at odds. The show has built on nine years on the relationship between the boys, as we call them on the set," Padalecki spills. "Obviously, they got to work it ‘cause they got to continue making things better in the world."

But the road to reunion (and one of those beloved Winchester brothers hug) will be a long and arduous one, Padalecki says. "There will certainly be a long road to travel and even as we shoot today, Sam and Dean aren't 100 percent."

"One of the things that I don't like in TV or movies is when someone is hurt and it's like, Oh, no that's okay, let's carry on,'" he explains. "I like to see, as in reality, people working through things. Like you know what, that messed me up so I'm going to hurt you back and then they kind of figure out what's what. Like you are with your family, your friends, your bosses, people you work with. You know, it's difficult to just have someone just go, ‘Okay, give me a hug.'" So I like that the writers are having a chance to really delve into the disagreements Sam and Dean have."

Ack. We know he's right about it having to be realistic... BUT GAH TO INFINITY AND BEYOND.  (P.S. "Okay, give me a hug" are now the words I want to hear most! Thanks Jared!)

Jared was also in the news when he finally revealed the name of 1 month old son number 2; the baby formally known as Welco. Well actually Gen revealed the name! Nawwwww.

Jared also chatted to People (in the Moms and Babies section!!) about fatherhood.

“For grown men who are used to playing sports, babies are tough,” the actor, 31, who welcomed his second son,Shepherd, in late December, told PEOPLE on Thursday at the Critics’ Choice Awards.

This article had some words from Jensen too, in what was probably one of the most fabulously miswritten sentences ever! Jensen was talking about how supportive the fans are that both he and Jared are married men and fathers...

Although he and fellow costar Jensen Ackles — dad to daughter Justice Jay, 7 months — are considered heartthrobs of their TV network, they find fans appreciative that they are happily off-limits.

“I think it’s the opposite,” Ackles, 35, told PEOPLE when asked if his admirers are upset that he and Padalecki are married. “They’re super supportive. They love it.”

THAT HE AND PADALECKI ARE MARRIED.

Oh if only the author of this article knew the giggles that one line sent through the Supernatural fandom.

Anyhooooo moving right along.

Friday saw the first day for none other than Misha Collins to step up to the director's chair, when he started prepping his episode - 9.17

Somehow, I think he's in for a world of pain and I can't wait to hear all about it at Vegascon!

Here's Misha looking like a crazed director...or you know, Misha.

The photo was posted by Tara Larsen.

Speaking of Misha... Random Acts made Ellen's The Good News blog this week! How cool is that?

Read the blog entry here, because it will make you all googey inside with the goodness. Does this mean Misha is one step closer to guesting on Ellen? Lord knows his Minions have been campaigning long enough!

For Adam lovers...well there was some good/not so good news from The Carver:

In an article over at TV Guide's Mega Buzz a fan asked the question many fans have asked about Adam. Is he ever getting out of Hell? With the talk of more familiar faces heading our way, The Carver put a bit of an end to any speculation regarding that other brother reappearing on our show anytime soon...

"As long as he's in the cage, there's always a chance," showrunner Jeremy Carver says. "He's not coming out tomorrow, but there's always a chance."

Oh dear. (P.S. let it gooooo.)

Speaking of familiar faces... Look who flew to Vancouver this week to start shooting their episode! Can anyone sing, Ghost Ghostfacers!

God even got a mention this week, with Jensen and Jeremy both weighing into the will He/won't He ever show up argument.

Selfishly, Jensen would love to have Rob Benedict come back to the show because he's one of my favorites of all time," Ackles tells TVGuide.com. "I mean, God would not be too happy at the disarray that has become his creation, so to speak. It's utter chaos. It's everything but the Apocalypse."

Showrunner Jeremy Carver admits that the God debate is a constant topic in the Supernatural writers room, but the timing just isn't right. "We talk about it all the time," Carver says of Chuck's return. "And I think we have all determined that up until this point at least, God has always served our story best as an absent father. It's a very understandable characterization."

What other show has these kind of discussions around God?! You can read the whole, fun and interesting article here.

Speaking of God...or someone angling for the job!

Want to know Curtis Armstrong a bit better? Here's a great Q&A with Metatron, our favourite-love-to-hate-really-not-favourite-bad-nasty-bastard-killed-Kevin-what-the-hell-is-he-going-to-do-next-so-awful-he's-awesome angel.

Find out what song was playing during his first kiss, what posters he had on the wall as a kid and what guilty pleassure is on his DVR in the article here!



Matt Cohen held another UStream chat.

He's going to do these weekly (where he can I guess) and he's recording them, so even if you miss watching him live, you can got back and watch the recorded session! 

Matt answers questions and tells you his news - like how he's going to be designing some limited edition t-shirts, so keep an eye out for those. He's going to have some friends dropping in too...so you never know who'll be joining him!

Check out episode 1 and 2 already recorded and keep an eye on Matt's twitter @mattcohen4real.

Here's Matt's UStream Channel link.

And of course, let's not forget a very important day... 

DEAN WINCHESTER'S BIRTHDAY!

I celebrated with 35 reasons why I love Dean! Hard to get it down to 35!

Happy birthday, baby. I hope you got lots of pie and maybe a hug (we know how you secretly love them.)


Another busy week of news in the Supernatural week that was!

If you missed my review of this week's episode, here is a link. Also Jules from Superwiki and I recorded a new Women of Letters podcast, discussing the first two episodes of the year.

That's it for now! Enjoy another Supernaturally awesome week!
-sweetondean

Review - Supernatural 9.11 "First Born"

Why, Dean... Why!

Hold me!

I can’t remember being so frightened by the ending of an episode, as I was this week. I mean I probably have been. There have been some terrifying moments after all. I’ve more than likely blocked them out through emotional distress! But sweet lord of the rings…WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN!

But I’m jumping ahead of myself…

*wibble*

I think “First Born” may be my favourite episode of the season. I say, “I think”, because every time we get a new episode I go, “Oh yeah, new favourite!” The season is just that good. Not one dog. Not even the one where Dean became a dog! Which happens to be one of my favourite episodes of the season…along with the other 10.

Robbie Thompson wrote another gorgeous script, full of pathos and humour and way more kickass than we’re used to from him. He’s officially taken over as my favourite writer on the show from the no longer with us, great and powerful Edlund (damn you Kripke *shakes fist*). He can write humour and he can write angsty angst angst. And he gets the brothers. He wrote an episode where the brothers were apart; totally, with no contact at all, and yet, they were ever present in each other’s minds and almost a shadow in the scenes. You could feel Dean in Sam’s scenes and visa versa. Just as Robbie managed to get the brothers to connect across decades in “Time After Time”, he managed to keep the brothers mentally connected even when they were trying not to be. Demonstrating clearly their love for each other, even when they were fighting against it. Well done, Robbie.

On a side note, this is only the second episode in the series where Sam and Dean have spent a whole episode apart without even a phone conversation. The last time was “Free To Be You And Me” which was the aftermath of Sam saying he was too dangerous to be around and Dean saying I’m not going to stop you. Familiar much? Oh these brothers, if one does something, they both have to. Can anyone say Hell, Purgatory, trying for a ‘normal’ non-hunter life, dying (again and again). These Winchesters and their shared experiences. Bless their damaged, brodependent hearts.

I also have to mention that “First Born” was directed by John Badham. Now, we get our fair share of über talented people working on Supernatural, both in front of and behind the camera…but John Badham! This is the guy who directed such classic movies as Saturday Night Fever, War Games (as quoted in Robbie’s “The Girl With The Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo” and “Pac-Man Fever”. Robbie must have been wrapped) and a favourite ‘80’s movie of mine, Short Circuit. He’s directed stars like, Kevin Costner, Johnny Depp, Mel Gibson, Michael J. Fox. He was one of the most prolific and successful movie directors of the 80’s and 90’s. He then went on to direct a stack of television and now he’s added Supernatural to his belt. I mean, WOW. I bet everyone was so excited to work with him.

“First Born” was split into 2 concurrent, parallel stories, with a mash up of partnerships. Sam was with Castiel, while Dean was with Crowley. It’s like the brother’s have switched up their rolls. Sam with the angel, Dean with the demon. Where is this going? *tiny voice* nowhere good.

With Dean parts unknown, Sam headed back to the bunker with Castiel, to recover from the aftermath of the trials and the Gadreel fiasco. I was beyond excited that Sam went…HOME. I was beyond, beyond excited that it actually looked like he was going to stay there! In the past, Sam has been the one to split. So often, it’s felt like he’s had one foot out the door. Whether through anger or through need, he’s often spoken of leaving the hunter life, or has walked away from Dean. He's vacillated between wanting to hunt and accepting the life and not. I’ll be honest and say I’ve found this frustrating and sometimes infuriating…mainly because I like my Winchesters as a set! But this time around, I find Sam’s willingness to continue and fight, in the place that Dean and he live, a nice bit of character growth…of course, there were things going on that also made me yell his name at the TV…but hey, Supernatural makes me yell plenty of names at the TV and quite often, expletives!

Sam and Castiel together (no, not together together), is something I’ve wanted to see for a long time and I know I’m not alone on that one. I’ve always felt that they’d have a hell of a lot in common. They have both made very dubious decisions with good intent, which have well and truly blown up in their faces. On that level alone they should connect. Cas, over the years, has been resistant because of Sam’s demon blood ties. But Cas, through his own experiences, has changed and this episode had a lovely exploration of this.

Thank goodness for PB&J (in more ways than one, though I prefer honey).

Thank goodness for Castiel’s lingering humanity.

Sam, Sam, Sam. The tragedy of Sam always feeling like he needs to atone is never, ever not going to be heartbreaking. He’s tried over the years to put it all behind him and sometimes, for a brief shining moment, it seems like he has…but here we are, back onboard the guilt train with a full set of baggage. It makes me so sad for him. Obviously Sam’s going to be deeply disturbed by what happened when he was possessed by Gadreel. All those horrible images, the most horrible of which being the death of Kevin, are burnt onto the back of his eyeballs. When Sam pleaded to Cas, ”Please help me do the right thing”, I may have groaned for him... So sad. He’s always done the right thing, or at least tried to. I wish like crazy he could see that.

Sam is a stubborn S.O.B. Both the Winchesters are, but I’ve always felt like Sam can make stubborn an art form when motivated. Both these brothers are so full of self-hate and self-doubt. Why can they not see how freakin’ awesome they are! I want to cuff them both around the ear.

Anyhoo...

Like I said before, thank goodness for human Cas. The scene where Cas was trying to extract the Grace from Sam was as painful for us to watch as it was for Sam to have it done to him (and I was so disturbed I couldn’t even enjoy Sam all sprawled out, long bodied with a v-neck t-shirt on). Cas was obviously in as much distress as we were. He was right, why do the Winchesters always chase death? They run at it headlong. I know that Sam feels like crap right about now and yes, he feels his life isn’t worth more than anyone else’s (with all the lives he saves, I think I may disagree a bit, but then I’m bias), but why must he always want to die.

I admit this is where I started yelling Sam’s name (and maybe the odd expletive) at the TV because, hey I’m just going to say it, I was upset that he was lying there going, yep, take the Grace, if it kills me so be it, I deserve it, yes yes yes. All I could think of was, you do not deserve it, no Sam you don't! But also... HEY wait a minute here, Sammy, your bro who loves you more than anything is out there, somewhere, parts unknown and you’re just going to up and die without even speaking to him, without even saying goodbye. You’re going to leave him…when you know he feels like the biggest piece of crap on the face of the earth right now…you’re going to check out. Please don't do that to him or you! I’ll admit it, I was a bit mad.

Look, I understand Sam’s in terrible pain as well, I feel for him so much, but whatever happened to “I’m not going to leave my brother alone out there”. Dean is about as alone as he’s ever been right about now and Sam was willing to die in that moment. If that happened, Dean would simple break. If he found out that Sam had sacrificed himself because of the guilt he still feels over everything, but more profoundly, the guilt he feels over the actions of his body whilst possessed…something his brother is responsible for. OH MY GOD. I couldn’t even. The whole thing haunted me for days. Those boys.

I saw Sam wanting to die, or at least, accepting of death in this moment as a very different thing to the conversation Sam had with THE Death. This was all about guilt and hurt and most likely anger and not in any way about being in a good place and ready to move on. Sammy, you don’t have to be happy with what your brother did, you have every right in the world to be angry. But… Oh man, leaving him like that. It made my stomach tie into knots. (Don’t worry; I still love you Sam…always will).

I know I’m probably pissing off some of my readers, but I’m being honest in how I felt in the moment. I was mad at Sam even considering leaving his brother out in the cold, alone, unknowing, and completely unaware that his brother is gone with everything unresolved. I just kept thinking…could you imagine the moment Dean found out? It hurt so much to see Sam even considering it. It hurt so much for both for Sam and for Dean.

Thank goodness for PB&J and thank goodness Sam is a thoughtful man who, even when you’re not sure he’s taking something in, does and then thinks it through. It’s one of my favourite things about Sam. How thoughtful he is and how level headed he can be. He got there in the end thank goodness, with a little help from Castiel, someone who now understands Sam because of his own experiences as a human. It was Cas’ empathy and gentle words that got Sam to see that there were other choices. I’m so glad Cas still has the remnants of his humanity. Praise be to Chuck!

And then they hugged and it was funny and it was awkward and I really liked it. I like this Cas. I like angel Cas, but angel Cas who seems to have learnt something. Like he said, if an angel can change, maybe a Winchester can. Maybe a Winchester can even learn something.

But stubbornness is always going to be a primary Winchester personality trait. Cas tried several times to get Sam to reach out to Dean. He told him they chose each other, he told him they’re going to need all the help they could get, he was trying all the angles…but, yeah…Winchesters, man. You could see Sam was processing it, thinking about Dean, at one point he looked like he was even hesitating, but he came back to Dean’s the one who left (ack Sam…not like you’ve never done the same thing). He’ll get there. I have a lot of faith in Sam. I’m hoping he lives up to my belief in him. I’m sure he will.

So gloriously wilful Winchester number 1… Now onto gloriously wilful Winchester number 2!

Meanwhile, somewhere in a bar in America, Dean Winchester LOOKS HOT.

OMG, let’s get this out of the way shall we. Dean is a little more shaggy than usual. I’m in love with his ranga beard (that’s a ginger beard in Aussie lingo). I loved him openly checking out the waitress. Hot damn. Dark Dean is smokin’!

Okay…I just had to get that out of my system.

I’ve been frightened for Dean before. Hell, Purgatory…but I’ve always felt like I had a fair idea what we were getting ourselves into. Not this time. I’m scared shitless.

Crowley and Dean. I knew they’d be an awesome duo. Crowley is just as smart mouthed as Dean and also a cheeky flirty, which both annoys Dean and throws him for a loop!

There was so much wonderful stuff in the Crowley and Dean scenes. I loved the talk about John and that the search for the first blade tied to the boy’s father. I always get excited when John’s Journal makes a showing and I loved getting to see another storage unit. I adore that these throwbacks to the original mythology of the show still happen. That the boys still know John’s codes, that they have storage units all over the country with John’s stuff (and some of theirs) in them. They should probably bring some of those files and artefacts into the MoL bunker actually…good home for John’s collection…also save some money on storage rental!

John’s old hunter companion/other kind of companion, Tara was wonderful. A ballsy female character who knew what was what. I’m always a little overjoyed when someone says something about how pretty Dean is. Not that I think he should be only judged on his looks, but because he’s so damn pretty I find it hard to believe everyone doesn’t start their sentences with OMG YOUR FACE! Okay, that’d probably be weird and a tad rude! But really, he is pretty; let’s not pretend he’s just an average looking guy! So I loved that Tara said he’d grown up pretty and that he was handsome like John (John was very handsome), okay she also said he was as dumb as John…probably true too. I’m bummed that Tara was a one-episode wonder, because I love the idea of other hunters being out there and Tara was really kind of cool. Pretty sure she was hitting on Dean…who the hell can blame her.

Then we got to meet Cain and how magnificent was he? Timothy Omundson was fabulous (so was his beard). Glad he didn’t die…well, I guess he can’t. Glad it sounds like he’ll be back, even if it’s just for Dean to kill him. Maybe he can be helpful in the battle against Abaddon; he does have a bone to pick with her…and a jaw bone blade to stab her with! He was so much more than he could have been, with his tragic love story and trying to retire and live a quiet life tending bees. Like so many characters in Supernatural, he had a sad story of loss involving family, love and sacrifice.

Cain and Dean standing toe to toe was a sight to behold. And Dean fighting. Wowsers and hubba! You sometimes forget how totally bad-assed Dean Winchester is. That battle royale between Dean and the demons as Cain watched on and shucked corn was a tour de force. Then to hear that it was Jensen in every shot! Well, it made the whole thing even more deliciously awesome. It was so beautifully staged and choreographed in such a small space. Kudos to all involved in putting that together. I wonder how long Jensen had to rehearse that scene? That might have to be a question for Vegascon! (I have about 5 now!)

I thought the twist on the Cain and Abel story was marvellous. Cain saved his brother’s eternal soul and sacrificed his own in the process. Gosh, who the hell does that sound like?

We’ve known for a long time that the brother’s linage goes back to Cain and Abel. Now looking at the change up in mythology, the ties seem even closer. Of course, Dean has already sold his soul once to resurrect Sam. But Dean has also, on more than one occasion, grappled with the possibility that he may one day have to kill his brother to save him. Whether it was because Sam was one of the YED’s chosen children and might go dark side, or because Sam had no soul and consequently no concept of right or wrong, or because an angel had taken over Sam’s body, Dean has faced this possibility again and again and always found a way to save Sam that involved Sam continuing to live.

And Dean would never kill Sam right? Right… Though… I was thinking. After everything that happened with Gadreel and how Dean’s love filled good intentions went south. How Dean blames himself for all the deaths, including Kevin’s that have happened since he convinced Sam not to close the gates of Hell. How Sam’s so angry with Dean for once again making choices on his behalf. In Dean’s current emotional state, if he was once again faced with this kind of choice… that the brothers could save the world, but Sam would have to be sacrificed and that Sam was cool with it… Obviously never going to happen (unless that is some coda the show is working towards in which case I will hunt each and every one of them down!) But all of this trauma and how destroyed and devastated Dean currently is, made me a little twitchy when I realised that the whole Cain mythology was coming into play for Dean. I know that Dean would never kill Sam under normal circumstances, but with Sam a little hell bent on dying anyway…if they were faced with another save the world kind of situation, if Sam was cool with taking one for team humanity and with the backlash of stopping the trials still very much on their minds… ACK. I’ma just gonna shut the hell up. I just made my stomach hurt.

Bottom line, the brothers will not kill each other. There. I’ve decided. (Of course they won't).

When Dean took on the Mark of Cain I was screaming at my TV “ASK WHAT THE BURDEN IS!” Oh my gosh. What the hell! Dean cares so little about himself, even more so right now, he couldn’t give a damn enough to even ask what the burden Cain spoke of was. In fact he probably thinks he deserves that damn burden. Dean Winchester, you break my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

What will it mean? *tiny voice: help* There are so many different interpretations of what the Mark of Cain means. From the curse of immortality, to having people steer clear of you for fear of retribution sevenfold, to wandering the earth alone for eternity as a nomad estranged forever from family, to not being able to grow crops…um…that one probably isn’t relevant! Some passages talk about ties to Purgatory. Of course there are ties to Lucifer and Hell. With Gadreel in the picture who also has ties to Lucifer, is that something that might be relevant?

WHAT WILL IT MEAN FOR DEAN.

I do not know but I’m so very, very, very, very, very to infinity and beyond, scared for him.

The final scene of the episode with Dean alone looking at the Mark on his arm… So tragic. My poor baby. That boy can devastate your heart. He needs his brother STAT! Sam is going to freak the hell out when he finds out what Dean has done! Not that Dean will tell him, OF COURSE NOT! Bet it’s Crowley that spills the beans! Oh Crowley.

One thing that I’ve found super interesting about this season is how a lot of the characters are reflecting the brothers back at them. It seems to be a theme. Remember Jody telling Sam that he and Dean have something special, something that most people search for. In “First Born” we had Castiel telling Sam that Sam and Dean chose each other, commenting on how the brother’s always seek out death and how he understands Sam and his guilt because like Sam, he’s tried to do the right thing and failed. We had Crowley actually telling Dean he was worthy (aww, Crowley you softy) and that no one hates Dean as much as Dean hates Dean…and Crowley knows this, because he’s tried. Both Crowley and Cas were encouraging the brothers to contact each other (call your brother, moron!), if for no other reason than they’re going to need all the help they can get (and as we know, they’re stronger together, we also know there was another reason). Crowley also said, “It’s always something with you boys.” Amen Crowley! Wait. Is that appropriate? There has been so much insightful dialogue coming from the outside. I love it! Because the Winchesters are so close to everything that goes on between them that they can’t see the forest for the trees. I have this sneaking suspicion Garth will be continuing this trend next week! He’s never shy!

But while both brothers rejected contacting the other (stubborn bastards) both were very much in each other’s thoughts. That you could see. It was the episode you have when they’re not together, but are very much together, in their hearts and minds and emotions.

“First Born” was a magnificent hour of television for a show that seems to be hitting extraordinary week in week out…and in it’s 9^th season! Inconceivable! Every single character was portrayed wonderfully, both through the writing and the performances. Castiel and Crowley’s parallel is fascinating as they both continue to operate with lessons of their recent brush with humanity still resonating in their interactions. Tara was great, Cain was simply a revelation and Sam and Dean…well they were infuriating and heart wrenching and beautiful and all the things I love and oh my gosh…please, please realise how much you need each other.

Dean is in such a bad place, probably the worst we’ve ever seen him. How far will he go and how far down will the Mark of Cain take him? Right now, I only see one way Dean can be saved from himself and what is about to befall him…Sam. Like Colette’s love saved Cain from who he became, Sam Winchester’s love can save his brother.

It’s time for Sam to save Dean. It’s all I can see. It’s all I want. I want this more than I can express (though I’ve managed to express close to 4000 words!)

Hey Sammy… your brother needs you.

As much as this whole storyline is super scary from every angle, it’s also super exciting! I feel like the show just notched it up to eleven! This mythology feels like something that can carry us into season 10 (and dare I say, beyond).

Terrifying and yet epically awesome…just how Supernatural should be.

Squeeeee! 

-sweetondean