Review: Supernatural 8.19 "Taxi Driver"

I liked “Taxi Driver”, a lot. Let me tell you why. I’m not much of a stickler for the nitty gritty. I don’t watch an episode and go, wait, that doesn’t gel with what was represented by canon in episode 5.ticketyboo. I don’t really care if the show takes some libities, it’s cool if you do, it’s just I don’t. It’s not how I watch TV and as much as I can pontificate about mythology and canon as effectively as the next rampant “Supernatural” fan, I just don’t watch “Supernatural” that way.

“Supernatural” to me is an emotional experience. I’m heavily involved with 2 men, who happen to be brothers, which would be weird and awkward if they weren’t fictional characters. I get lost in the moment and if the emotion is gelling, nothing will tear me out of it. That’s how I watch this show. That’s how watched this episode. I was swept up in the emotion. Yeah, there were some weaknesses in the script, these guys are not the best writers on the team, we know that, we don't expect much from them, let’s not flog that dead horse, but I didn’t notice the weaknesses at the time. Because at the time, I was worrying for Kevin, I was hating on Naomi, I was wanting to kick Crowley, I was thrilled to see Bobby, I was sad for Benny, I was freaking out for Sam and I was wringing my hands with and for Dean. I was living in the now and was swept up in the story of these characters that I love and adore and gosh darn it, I guess I was too involved to notice there were any glaring issues. When an episode resonates with me emotionally, I can overlook the odd plot hole.

I’m a fan; I’m not a professional reviewer. There are plenty of bloggers out there who fit that bill. I’m just a “Supernatural” fan who loves to enjoy this show she loves, who loves to write about this show and who loves to talk about this show. I respect everyone has their own opinions, but lately I’ve felt like the show I hold so dear and my enjoyment of it is being systematically stripped away from me and held hostage by anger and negativity and I’m tired of being bummed out by it. So I made a decision, I’m reclaiming my show for me. I'm reclaiming my squee. This show makes me, and so many people I know happy and I’m not going to let anything take that from me. Because “Supernatural” means too much to me. It’s got me through rough times, it’s brought wonderful friends into my life, it’s reinvigorated my love of writing and it’s enriched me in ways I can’t even get my head around. The amount of happiness this show has afforded me outweighs anything else. Plus, it's still far and away one of the best shows on television.

So from now on, I’m watching my show and then afterwards, I'm sticking my fingers in my ears and going lalalalala, whilst I sit back and enjoy the afterglow of the Winchester ride (which sounds awesome and dirty). I'm not letting other opinions dimish my enjoyment. I will happily overthink the show in my own way, with excitement, curiosity and faith. It’s onwards and upwards to season infinity and beyond with my glass forever half full.

Poor old Kevin! You know, Osric Chau, man. How different is this Kevin from the Kevin we first met. He’s such a nice young performer. His deterioration is a physical experience not just for Kevin but also for the audience. And yet, some how the kid still seems to crack out the funny lines and infuse his edgy, tattered performance with humour. I’ve grown to like Kevin. At first I found him a little irritating, but I think by using him carefully and allowing the character to be almost the human representation of the audience, has helped. We’re so used to great big heroes in this show, taking the knocks and remaining standing, but Kevin is suffering, probably like we would!

The cracks were starting to show when we last saw him and Sam advised him to slow down…something he, and Dean wouldn’t hear of. Now with trial number 2 decoded, Kevin is hearing Crowley in his head…or is he? Was it actually Crowley? Was it Kevin’s imagination? Or was it Naomi, the mind manipulator pretending to be Crowley? Though, I’m not sure why she’d do that, as Kev knows nothing of the angel tablet or Castiel and Fizzle’s Folly is not warded against angels, so she could (and does) come and go as she pleased. Which Crowley, technically speaking, shouldn’t be able to do…which, I guess is why the windows blew out, destroying the demon wards and allowing him to get inside. Crowley seems to be more powerful now than ever before, which is another reason my questions about Crowley are getting louder. But was it actually Crowley? I was saying no. I thought that all of this was inside Kevin’s head. That insomnia, overwork, whatever physical toll deciphering God’s Word is having on him, is making him buckets of crazy and imagining the King of Hell is inside his brain. I mean, when the boys arrived back at the boat, the windows were fixed, which made me wonder if Kevin just had a psychotic break and bolted - or Naomi took him, because she could certainly clean up the joint with a wave of her hand. But then I listened to a podcast with director, Guy Bee who said outright, that it was Crowley. Of course, he could be yanking our collective chains…Lord knows it wouldn’t be the first time, Mr Beaver needs a pair of flame retardant pants these days and I trust Guy about as much as I trust Jim! But, if Guy’s on the level, then Crowley has split with the kid and could now have the entire demon tablet, not just the part with the acknowledgements and about the author, and will get the heads up on what the 3rd trial is and the brothers won’t (well they will, of course, but you know what I’m saying.) It’s all very nerve wracking and exciting…except for Kevin and possibly Mrs Tran! I don’t think we’ve ever seen Crowley that angry and desperate. I loved his line “What you people never seem to understand is you are nothing, fleeting blips of light…I am forever.” Eeeep!

He was pretty pissed at Naomi too! Whatever went on in Mesopotamia…there’s certainly no love lost now. I think my prediction of them working together is, errr, not going to happen! I like it when Crowley is all angry and mean – “Really” – flick – boys halfway up a tree! Awesome. I wonder if they’ll ever kill him. Maybe at the very end? I can’t see it happening any time soon, but then…with this show, who the hell knows huh?

Naomi…yeah, you can try and sweet talk your way into Dean Winchester’s good graces sweetheart, but he ain’t never gonna trust you. There’s only one angel he trusts and even then, it’s up and down. But he’s loyal to Cass and nothing you say will change that, lady!

Pretty much every angel Dean has had any kind of serious contact with has ended up being a pain in his and his brother's ass. Zach (I love you Zach), Uriel, Glenn Close…err Anna, Balty, Raphael, why would Dean think Naomi is any different. Cass is an angel anomaly, an angel with a affinity for humanity, not a robotic, warrior, bureaucrat… Ooooo don’t call her a bureaucrat! Geesh, that one hit a nerve! But somehow, I have a feeling Dean and Sam may end up working with Naomi in some regard, even if they don’t trust her. Because, if she can help get them to their end goal, then it may be worth the risk. Though taking a chance on something all-powerful always has its downside. She was playing her role well, but I don't think the elder Mr Winchester fell for it one little bit.

Freeing Bobby’s spirit was a fortuitous opportunity for Naomi, because that’s something the brothers will remember, even if they see right through it. Maybe Naomi and Crowley faked the trapping of Bobby’s soul…working together to get the Winchesters on the angel’s side…see I’m not giving up on my Naomi/Crowley in cahoots theory!

Ok, let’s get to the really important stuff. How pretty is this screencap!

I like that Sam got a chance to go to Purgatory, see it for himself (and not just because the colour grade on the Purgatory scenes seems to make everyone doubly hot!) Both boys have been to Hell, Heaven and now Purgatory. It seems right to me that they’ve had these shared experiences. Their experiences were different in all places, but the fact that these two share so much can only give them greater understanding of what each has and is going through…which coming from where we’ve been to where we are now, is soooo good. These two finally being on the same page, caring for each other and supporting each other is all I ultimately want from this story…I don’t know if that’s weird or not, but I watch for the Winchesters and their relationship means the world to me. I’ll travel the bumps in the road with them, but in the end, it’s their love that I want to see on the screen.

And the way they’re interacting these days is so grow’d up. Carver promised a more mature Sam and Dean and I feel like he’s delivered on that promise. Dean’s worried about Sam and he’s letting him know. That’s ok by the way. I tell my brother when I’m worried about him and I tell him off if he does something that I think is dumbassed. Doesn’t mean I think less of him, just means I care. Dean cares for Sam, he loves his brother, he’s worried for his health and safety and you know what, so he should be. But the fact that when Sam says, I’ve got it, Dean sucks it up and just makes sure he knows the full story of what Sam’s about to do, speaks volumes to me about his growth as a character and the belief and trust he has in Sam. These two feel much more like equals than they used to. Dean is always going to be Sam’s big brother, Sam is always going to be Dean’s little brother, Dean’s always going to worry about him, that’s biology, that’s history, that’s family but their relationship has grown in leaps and bounds and I like it a hell of a lot.

Sam was in Purgatory for about 7 hours before he got to the gateway to Hell, according to what Ajay told Crowley, so I’m sure he saw plenty of action, even if we didn’t. I kinda loved that he got to grab one of those rockin’ Purgatory weapons too. It suited him and he looked awesome swinging it (as did his hair!) As time moves differently in Hell, I made the assumption that it took a lot longer for Sam to find Bobby than we saw, I mean, we can't see every second. The watch at the doorway out was such a nice touch - marking the spot, but also being a reference to time and the nature of time in this plane.

I like how the show depicts Hell. I’ve always thought Hell was kind of like Heaven, in the way it’s different for everyone. Dean’s Hell saw him hung on meat hooks and ripped to pieces over and over until he broke and became something he never wanted to be. Bobby’s Hell was seeing the two people he loved most in the world, his boys, every minute of every day, taunting him. Sam’s experience, of course, was a different ball of brimstone altogether, because he was in the cage, which I’ve always assumed is not the same as Hell.

Maybe this corner of Hell we saw in this episode is more how it really looks (obviously Crowley changed up the décor again – frustrated hairdresser come interior designer), because Sam was just a visitor, not a tenant and so would see it how it is, not how it would torture him the most. The rambling halls and the tormented souls (creepy chick was creepy), for a show that operates on a minimal budget, they sure know how to make something look expensive. Hell looked great, as did the doorway portal in the alley.

BOBBY. I wasn’t sure it was going to be Bobby. It looked like his back in the preview, but I wasn’t sure if it was going to be a trick or if Bobby would turn around and look at Sam with black eyes or something. But it was BOBBY! I was so glad to see him. He looked pretty good for a guy who’d been in Hell for a while! But he’s a strong old dude and I can just imagine him cussing out everyone down there who got in his way. Also, as Bobby was not corporial - he was a spirit of sorts - the level to which he would carry trauma is debatable. Maybe if he ended up coming back to his body on Earth, we would have seen a very different Bobby. 

Oh, but I loved seeing him again, I really did and I loved that it was Sam who saved him and got to spend time with him, because Bobby’s spent more time with Dean, so it was nice for Sam to have that moment. And speaking of big mouth Dean…I laughed so hard at the thought of him telling Sam about Bobby’s Tori Spelling and pedicure secrets! Little bastard! Just shows you how tight those brothers are!

The Sam not looking for Dean thing came up again. That seems to have been happening a bit of late. To tell you the truth, there was a moment at the end in the car where I thought Sam was about to say something. But nope. Like I’ve said before, if we never hear anything more, I’m cool…I’ll survive and I won’t rage about it, but I’m certainly curious, so I’m hoping that something more is revealed and I'm hoping it's by Sam. With so many little mentions, it feels like it might be going somewhere.

Bobby is... such a Bobby! He can’t help but tell Sam off for reneging on the “non-agreement”, then having a dig at Dean about his vampire friendship and then saying that without him the brothers really went off the rails! Awwwww bless his heart. Of course they’re doing fine or as fine as they ever are, but I’m sure a bit of Bobby wisdom and a kick up the pants would do them both good, every once in a while.

Bobby was sad and beautiful, as was Jim Beaver's performance. Bobby said he wanted to stay to fight, though I’m sure he probably wanted to stay just for his boys, but you could tell that he knew it was impossible. I’m glad he’s in Heaven and I’m glad we know it. He should be there. He has friends there, a wife. I hope he’s happy and I hope, somehow, we get to see him again. Bobby and Sam’s reunion hit all the right notes. Just the right level of emotion for a couple of hunters in a sticky-wicket and this is where this episode soared, emotionally it was a cracker.

With Naomi coming to Dean to tell him about Purgatory, Dean discovers Ajay dead and realises his little brother is now trapped with no way out. It must have taken a lot to ring Benny, but then again, it probably didn’t. When it comes to Sam, Dean will do whatever it takes to keep his brother safe, including asking a friend one hell of a favour. This scene between Benny and Dean is the scene Jensen told us about in his meet and greet at VegasCon. While discussing a question regarding directing actors, he spoke of how sometimes, if an actor makes themselves emotionally available for a scene, it can go an unexpected direction. This is what happened with this scene between Benny and Dean. It wasn’t written with so much emotion, but something in the two actors took it to that place. Both were surprised. Neither of them saw it coming. They had a bit of a laugh about it afterwards, but once they’d identified it, it went to that place every take. Guy Bee was as surprised as Jensen and Ty; he hadn’t seen the scene like that on the page. Jensen said it was because it wasn’t on the page; it was just one of those magical moments that sometimes happens. What we got as viewers was a performance so raw that, I don’t know about you, but it stopped my breathing. Dean’s need for Benny to say “Yes” was etched into every line on his beautiful face. He was in a state of desperation and despair.

The words may have never come out, but we all knew what was being said. Dean was asking to cut off his friend’s head, a friend who means a lot to him and who’s shared a lot with him, to save the brother that is the world to him. Benny’s struggles topside probably made it easier for him to say yes, but I have a feeling the vampire would’ve said yes anyway. Dean thought Benny would come back with Sam, or at least hoped he would. The sheer devastation on Dean’s face as he pulled Benny into a hug before throwing his arm back and in a one swipe, killing one of the few friends he’s ever had in his life, was, well…*sob* What a scene. Jensen is the master of emotion. The chemistry between Ty and Jensen has always jumped off the screen, but this scene was something else. I hope it's not the last we see of Benny, but if it is, it was a worthy exit.

I’m glad Sam got to see the side of Benny that Dean connected with. I always considered it strange that Sam, of all people, wrote Benny off without a second thought. The fact that Benny’s sacrifice allowed Sam to return to his brother, release his father figure to Heaven and finish the 2nd trial shows that Benny was on the up and up and I’m glad Sam now knows that. I don’t think he’d ever really accept Benny, which is fine, but I do think being in Purgatory and seeing that Benny was a “man” who could be trusted was another important step forward for the brothers and another step to putting past hostilities behind them. Admitting when you’ve misread a situation doesn’t make you less of a man, in fact it’s the opposite, it makes you more of a man. 

For the audience, allowing a monster to be a friend, to be someone who can be trusted and to be someone we can care about adds to the wonderful level of greys in this show. It shows a maturity in the story telling to allow something we'd traditionally fear, to become something we end up crying for. 

Which brings me to what was my favourite part of the episode (can you guess what it is?) When Sam returns to Dean. When Dean is pacing and waiting for Sam, Bobby and Benny to emerge from Purgatory, he looks terrified. Then when Sam comes out of the light…oh Dean’s face… Then Dean pulls his jumbo sized little brother into a hug that actually looked like it hurt it was so powerful. A powerful hug, eyes closed, brothers wrapped around each other in relief. A great big Winchester love filled hug. If there’s anything better, I don’t know what it is.

The way Sam tells Dean about Benny choosing to stay behind is so gentle. I loved that moment. I loved Sam for being so gentle with his brother’s feelings. I loved that Dean tried to correct his disappointment over Benny with happiness for Bobby, “I mean, that’s fantastic about Bobby.” You can see he’s on the edge of a thousand emotions. You can see Sam is reading every one of them. These guys, seriously, Jensen and Jared, give them a scene together like this and it’s jaw droppingly good. They’re so damn GOOD. Will somebody give them a bloody award or something! Man.

Then, finally the Winchester brothers watch as Bobby’s soul soars to Heaven. Beautiful.

If there was one criticism I'd make about “Taxi Driver” is that it felt a touch rushed and I would have happily seen a "to be continued" but, the episode hit so many perfect emotional notes for me, any criticism of it was rendered meaningless. Even just writing this and going back and checking through scenes and dialogue as I go, had me feeling all the feels. Like I said, it’s why I watch the show and when a show gives me a punch in the gut as good as this…well then, I’m going to sing its praises loud and proud.

Two-week hiatus, people. BOOOOOOOO…and then...DEAN IN UNIFORM! YAYYYYYYY! I knew there was a reason I loved Robbie Thompson! I have a feeling it’ll be another play, pause, rewind, play, pause, rewind, play kind of episode…

Thanks for reading, see ya later.
-sweetondean

sweetondean is Chief Editor and writer for The Winchester Family Business.

For all the latest Supernatural info and article links, follow The Winchester Family Business on Twitter at @WinFamBusiness

Personal note:

Constructive, thought provoking, criticism is always welcome and enjoyed. I'll often raise contentious issues myself. Lively debate can be fun and that's certainly not what I'm talking about when I discuss the anger and negativity I've been witnessing in the fandom.

I've been facing each episode with trepidation, not because I'm worried if I'll enjoy it or if it will let me down, but because I dread the outpouring of anger that nearly every episode seems to get these days. Having issues with canon and the writing, I'm interested in discussing and debating those thoughts rationally, but the bitterness and toxicity of some dialogue is soul destroying and discouraging. Especially when it seems to happen week in, week out.

This week was my line in the sand. Had it not been for Alice, my fearless leader at The Winchester Family Business, I would not have been writing ever again. That's how disheartened I'd become by what I was seeing. But she reminded me, that there are a lot of people whose dialogue is well thought out and passionate without being soley negative and that there are a lot of people that are enjoying the show, but don't feel the need to yell it from the mountain tops and so their voices aren't heard. As one of the most read reviewers on the site, my posts are a place where these later fans come and feel safe, even if they don't comment.

So I had to take emotional stock and I had to make a choice for myself. I had to seriously look at why I watch this show, what it means to me, what I get out of it and whether or not I wanted to continue to share my perspective on it. 

I came to the decision, that "Supernatural" and this fandom mean too much to me to walk away. But to continue to write and be involved in this community, I could no longer let other people's opinions affect how I feel about this show and the fandom. Consequently, I'm choosing to focus on my enjoyment of the show; remembering that this is something that I love, it's the only way forward for me. 

This doesn't mean I will never find fault, but if I choose to celebrate an episode and wave my hands at inconsistencies, I will and I won't feel less of a fan for doing so, because I'm not less of a fan for choosing to focus on what it is I love about this show and not what disappoints me.

At the end of the day it's just a TV show, albeit, a damn good one...

Review - Supernatural 8.09 "Citizen Fang"

Hi! How are we all feeling? A little fragile? This hiatus is going to be harsh… Stupid CW changing their return date.

You know, I’m at work while most of you watch the show and this week my twitter was going nutso! I get alerts when someone tweets me and I kept getting “Oh Amy, tonight’s episode is going to break your heart” kind of tweets! So I started to panic. Like, I was having the worst day anyway and then I was having massive “Supernatural” anxiety on top of it! All this concern for me could only mean one thing, Dean screwed up, Dean did something horrific, everyone knows how I feel about Dean, so if I’m going to be that distressed by the episode, well… I was freaked out! I emailed Alice and Ardeospina! I said…am I going to cry??? Alice said she was surprised by something that happened and she was surprised she could still be surprised, she also cried, Ardeospina didn’t cry but thought that I probably would! OMG! I managed to make myself even more anxious…seriously…I had a lot of stuff going on which was making my stomach hurt, but my “Supernatural” feels were making me sweat!

Finally, the day ended and I could get home to my boys because obviously, they needed me! I nearly ran every red light to get there. I threw some food at the dog, got some tissues just in case, cracked a beer and prepared for the worst. My heart was leaping out of my chest for the entire episode. I was seriously queasy throughout! But…I didn’t cry...

I groaned when Dean said the thing about Benny never letting him down. I groaned when Sam spat out his well good on you line. I groaned when Sam let Dean get handcuffed to heater. I groaned really loud when we found out Dean sent the text. I groaned even louder when Sam hung up on Dean. GAH! These two! But you know what…it’s all good…I’m good with it all. In fact, I’m pretty damn happy about all that brother crap getting flushed to the surface…because now maybe we can deal with it and get rid of it once and for bloody all!

I may have touched on this somewhere else, but I’ve been thinking a lot about Sam and Dean lately (and by lately I mean seven and a half years) so humour me while I hop into my way-back-machine…


“Skin” – 1.06
Dean to Sam – while in the guise of the shapeshifter

"He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home.

I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me.

You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass."

“Asylum” – 1.10
Sam to Dean – while possessed by Dr Ellicott and with a gun pointing at Dean.

"I mean, why are we even here? ’Cause you're following Dad's orders like a good little solider? Because you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval?

That's the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic, like you.

You know what, I am sick of doing what you tell me to do."


The reason I’m starting this week’s review with a couple of quotes from the first half of season one, is because I think after “Citizen Fang” it’s important to take a step back and look at the history and nature of Sam and Dean’s relationship before we spend six weeks in the depths of despair.

I think us fans have a tendency to look at the Winchester’s bro-ness through rose coloured glasses. I know I do. We love them, maybe a little too much sometimes, just like they love each other, maybe a little too much sometimes. Actually, there’s no maybe about it, I think they love each other to the point of distraction (same goes for us). But I think the resentments we’re seeing raise their ugly heads in such a hurtful way now, are resentments that have been there right from the moment we met them.

When we first heard each of the brother’s inner doubts and anger at each other, albeit via supernatural interference, I remember thinking, o-oh, everything’s not so peachy-keen jelly-bean! And now….well now, their relationship has been so impacted by the shite they’ve had to wade through, that those resentments are starting to seep into everything. And you know what? Good! Let me explain myself a bit better because you probably all think I’m about as crazy as mostly-ok-Martin.

Sam and Dean have been on one hell of a ride to get them to where we now find them. They haven’t had a chance to draw breath since, well at least since when Dean went to Hell.

When we first met our beautiful Winchester boys, they hadn’t seen each other for 2 years. Sam had left John and Dean to go to college. John told Sam, you walk out that door don’t you ever come back. Dean didn’t contact Sam for the whole 2 years. He says he didn’t think Sam would pick up, but we know he was smarting from his brother leaving the family, or rather leaving Dean, which we later discover is the way Dean sees it. It wasn’t until their father went missing and Dean found himself alone, that he went to his brother and asked him to join him in the hunt for John, as much because he wanted to find their father as have his brother beside him. I think it was probably the excuse he’d been waiting for so he could reconnect with Sam. Dean doesn’t do alone well, neither brother does.

Sam was crystal clear, he had no intention of continuing with the hunter’s life beyond the search for dad and had Jess not been murdered, I’m quite sure Sam would be a lawyer right about now.

But circumstances changed Sam’s mind. During season one and then into season two Sam continued to remind Dean that this was not the life he was going to follow. Initially, he just wanted to find dad. Then he wanted revenge for Jess and mum and everything. But still, once the Yellow-Eyed Demon was done with, Sam was leaving the family business once and for all. I’m sure this hung over Dean’s head like a death sentence.

But circumstances changed Sam’s mind. He was killed, his brother sold his soul to resurrect him and now Sam’s mission was to get Dean out of that deal. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be and after that…well, after that it all kind of went in the crapper.

While Dean was in real Hell, Sam was in lost-without-his-brother hell and he fell in with Ruby. Between Dean and Sam they started the world on the road to the Apocalypse. Their trust in each other was permanently shaken as each chose different sides of the Ruby camp. Lucifer was risen. They found out they were the opposing vessels for the Apocalypse – forced on to opposite sides once again. They struggled to stay apart and then struggled to stay together. They were forced to face all their memories in Heaven and a wedge was driven further between them. Sam’s memories showed he was happiest when away from the family/family business. Dean got hurt because Dean’s memories were all about being with his family. So, the amulet went in the bin…..

They had a shining moment when they came together out of pure love and desperation to stop Lucifer in his tracks and it was that love and dedication to each other that quite literally saved the world (that’s how I see it anyway). Dean wouldn’t leave Sam and that helped Sam fight off the Devil to save Dean. But could they even catch a break then? Nope.

Sam dove into the pit. Dean struggled to live without his brother. He tried to follow Sam’s wish for him and what Dean thought was his own dream for a family life, only to find that was never going to be possible. Sam’s unexpected homecoming was not a happy one. Something was wrong in Sam-town and Dean knew it. His brother came out of Hell without his soul.

When soulless Sam’s soul was restored, the brothers had the world to save, yet again, this time from a barrage of Jefferson Starship monsters the likes they’d never seen and then, from a friend, who proceeded to send Sam crazy. Whatever. They kept moving forward because that’s what they do. They’re Winchesters. They stopped Eve but they couldn’t stop Cass, the Leviathan came, more end of the world stuff and then, bam, bam, bam. Cass died, Bobby died, Sam went mad, Cass came back, cured Sam and Dean killed Dick Roman, vanishing before his brother’s eyes. Poof. Gone.

Then…everything stopped.

They were apart for a year, where they both had a chance to draw breath and assess everything, without the pressures of the world driving itself off the cliff once again.

Dean fought in Purgatory and found a new sense of purpose. Sam met someone and found a new sense of life. Dean went back to being the hunter he was when we first met him. Sam went back to trying to make a safe and normal existence for himself, like when we first met him.

I think, what we’re seeing here and now are issues that the Winchester brothers had with each other since that wonderful day they came into our lives. The issues that they’ve never properly aired and that have had to take a back seat to the brothers being great big heroes.

What I see happening between Sam and Dean is confusion and hurt and anger and resentment amplified by years of confusion and hurt and anger and resentment.

I think that Dean is confused and hurt and angry about why Sam never looked for him, why his brother let him down. Why his brother turned away and went in search of a “normal life” again, and that plays into all of Dean’s insecurities and fears about not being worthy and being left alone, but I also think all this plays into that very first tirade. Sam got another shot at friends and a life. This should make Dean happy, he did too for a fleeting moment. But it’s déjà vu all over again. Dean had dreams he didn’t get to live, but Sam got another shot…at the expense of Dean.

I think Sam’s mad as hell. MAD AS HELL. I can’t remember seeing him this angry. He’s almost itching for a fight. I mean, if there was a fight, he could leave again with a clearer conscious right? I think sure, he’s angry his brother kept Benny a secret from him, he’s angry at what he sees as a double standard, but I also think, he’s mad as hell that he’s back doing the one thing he thought he got away from again. He’s back hunting. I think he’s pissed. Not necessarily at Dean but just at everything. All these flashbacks he’s having to his life with Amelia. He’s obviously thinking about it constantly. Well at least three times every 42 minutes! It looks to me like it’s eating him up. It looks like he feels like he’s been dragged back to following orders like a good little soldier and his brother is calling the shots once again. He's angry and he's scared. He’s given up everything once again, for the family business that has left him with so much pain.

I think, those two very simple outbursts, way back in season one, are continue inform the brother’s relationship and are playing into where they’re currently at. Because these are deep resentments, they’re epic siblingesque resentments and they’ve never truly been aired and dealt with. And sure, there's been a torrent of horror and mistrust under the bridge since then, which only adds to everything, but as I see it, where they are now and where they kicked off, are two very similar places. So that’s what I mean by…good. Get it out guys. Please, get it out and talk about it! You've been burying this stuff for years. It's time. Let's have that mature relationship Carver promises they're working towards. Let this be the first step to that.

They don’t communicate well, never have. Through everything they’ve learnt, that’s something that’s eluded them. I’d say their upbringing wasn’t conducive to open and honest discussion! For the brothers, it more often than not comes out in spits of pain. Which is why I never really worry about them, because the kind of pain being felt at the things being said is the kind of pain felt because of love. If they weren’t the most important people in each other’s lives, they wouldn’t be so deeply injured by each other’s lack of trust and understanding. They wouldn’t lash out so hurtfully.

Maybe this is how my Winchester rose-coloured glasses work…I don't know. I know most people don’t roll with my assessment that, regardless of what the brothers say or how they act, that love is always there and is their stone number one. I’ve always seen their relationship as a great big functioning dysfunctional piece of love. Sure there’ve been wonderful moments of fun and closeness where that affection is clearly on display and I think it’s those we tend to hang on to. But they’re gigantic, burley blokes and they butt heads, a lot. They can't be sharing and caring at every turn. They live in each other’s back pockets. They are totally different individuals. They piss each other off royally. They hurt each other completely. Their world is scary and extreme and their reaction to it and to each other can be scary and extreme. So…yeah, it’s bad, but it’s also good, because even if it’s coming out as yelling and nastiness, at least it’s coming out. That seems like a giant step forward! Everyone knows where they stand pretty much and we all know, when everything hits rock bottom…the only way is up (baby, for you and me….you’re all singing that in your heads now aren’t you).

And yet, in amongst all the angsty, heart stabby, keep us awake at night bro stuff, we saw some really strong moments between Sam and Dean that shows, whatever they have is still there and maybe we can take some solace in that.

Dean didn’t rail at Sam for putting someone on Benny. Even though you could tell Sam was expecting Dean to bite, Dean didn’t, instead agreeing with his brother that they needed to check it out. Sam gave Dean the time he asked for to go to see Benny before everything went too far. This was my favourite moment of the episode. The boys were laser focused on each other. Martin was bouncing back and forth yelling at them, but they just stared at each other calmly like no one else was in the room, as Dean asked “Sammy” for that time. I loved that moment. There was understanding and give and take going on.

But then the brothers met an impasse. Dean asked Sam to trust him and in doing so, to trust Benny, but if there’s no trust between each other, how can that trust be extended? Sam questioned Dean’s judgement. Dean hit one out in anger; Sam got hurt and volleyed one back. They went their separate ways and took their own actions. For right or for wrong, they followed the path they thought was justified.

I’m sure Sam probably would have killed Benny given half a chance, though Benny is pretty charming, maybe he could have talked Sam around! I think Dean did the text thing to protect both his brother and his friend. He doesn’t want them to get into a fight. He doesn’t want one to kill the other. He needed Sam out of the picture. He’d planned for this situation a while back. That’s smart man, and it also shows how well he knows Sam. Yeah, it was one hell of a dick move…but I was initially blown away by that level of forward thinking and then saddened that Dean thought maybe it would come to that and then saddened more that it had come to that.

I don’t think Dean realises what a fragile place Sam is in. I don’t think he’s seeing it. I don’t think Sam's showing him for a start, or telling him, no one’s telling anyone anything, but I also think, opening his eyes to what Sam’s feeling is something Dean doesn’t want to face, because then he’d see that maybe Sam doesn’t want to be there, next to Dean, driving down crazy street. Though really...it's getting kind of obvious.

But everything in this episode could have gone a different way if the brothers had done what they do best and faced the problem together. Because I think Sam may actually feel differently about Benny if he truly met the vampire and learnt why Dean puts so much faith in him. They kind of want the same thing Benny and Sam and Benny and Dean I guess, happiness, family, they're all not that different...except for that pesky monster thing.

The one fly in the ointment of this whole shebang was Martin. Had he not been in the picture, things would have gone a lot different. Though had he not been in the picture we’d have never had this particular chapter in the Winchesters scrappy history! Martin had no place being out hunting again, he probably had no place being out…I just assume the hospital he was in got short on beds or something and turfed him. Sam probably should have been smarter than he was in putting Martin on Benny’s tail. But I don’t blame Sam, because I think out of everyone in this tragedy, which is hitting Shakespearian heights, Sam’s the one coping the least.

Did you see that panic overtake Sam again? When he raced towards Amelia, we saw that blind panic that we’ve seen a couple of times this season. Sam’s not doing good. I’m almost expecting one of his eyes to start twitching. He actually reminds me a bit of the Sam at the end of “Sam, Interrupted” when he said he’s angry all the time. Sam’s hurting. I’m kind of glad he’s getting a time out! 

I couldn’t be happier that Benny came through this with his head still attached to his shoulders. Benny is awesome. I love that character. Ty Olsson is doing a fantastic job with him. Benny fits well into the complex and conflicted character drama that is “Supernatural”. Plus he is cute and cuddly! Did he kill mostly-ok-Martin? Yeah, I’d say and I so don’t care! I’m pretty much taking everything that happened in this episode on face value. I think Martin’s neck looked ripped, not cut. Martin got close, Benny lunged, that’s how I see it playing out.

Oh…you know, I do have one theory…hands up who thinks Benny is going to make it to season 9. Bueller? Bueller? Nah me neither. I think we might have a “Heart” situation on our hands, with out the steamy sex of course….WITH OUT the steamy sex people! Benny gave up humans a while back, but he’s finding it hard going, plus he can’t have any semblance of the life he wants. He’s alone, lonely and teetering on the edge of being a monster…I mean a monster that kills. What if he decides, it’s not worth it, getting out of Purgatory is not what it’s all cracked up to be. What if like Lenore, he simply wants done with it, because either he can no longer control the blood lust, or because his life is plain miserable. He only has one person now who keeps his ducks in a row. Dean. I think Benny might ask Dean to send him back to Purgatory. I think he might ask his friend to kill him. If this happens I hope Sam is by his brother’s side, because, Dean’s going to need that support. Meep. Just a theory…run with it if you like! But be warned…I’m usually wrong. I suck at theories!

“Citizen Fang” was painful to watch, that’s for sure, because we all love these brothers and we want them to be happy and most of us want them to find that happiness together, but I’m really glad it’s all happening…finally... and I’m totally digging it. I thought it was another cracker of an episode that once again played into the whole perception thing going on this season. Everyone thought what they were doing was right. From their perspective it was. Even crazy mostly-ok-Martin.

The music, the cinematography, the direction, the performances the script from Dan Loflin were all spot on. I loved that scene where Dean confronts Benny. I love that Dean’s standing there with a knife behind his back. The camera drifts back and forth, the cicadas are chirping and the frogs are croaking and that southern style music is playing and I swear, it felt so steamy I nearly turned up the air conditioning and not just because there were two hot (one ridiculously hot) men facing off with knives! See what this show has done to me! Pretty men + violence = hot! I’m a tragedy.

While we’re on hot… “or…you could just drop a dime yourself” D-amn! Dean Winchester, you flirt like a BOSS! Woof! Also, Jensen, your Texan was showing…drawl much? Smokin’.

Oh and Amelia’s real. Which, I was pretty much expecting, but still. It made me think…if Sam left because he wanted to give Amelia and Don a shot, that when we saw him leaving it was after one last night together, then this whole time, Sammy would’ve been looking at his phone, hoping that Amelia would ring to say that she didn’t want her ex, that she’d chosen Sam and that it was all over with Don… But his phone has never rung, so he’s known and would’ve been dealing with the fact that his girl didn’t pick him. Quick, group hug everyone, because that smarts! How good was Jared’s reaction when Sam saw Amelia in the bar. That was awesome. I have no idea what’s going to happen… I figure, this will be the end of Sam and Amelia….but like I said, I suck at theories.

So here we are. Dean pulled a swiftie on Sam, Sam’s mad as all get out…one’s in Louisiana, one’s in Texas and we’re left high and dry for six weeks! SON OF A BITCH! But it’ll be ok, because my glass half-fullness is saying to me, that this is the beginning of a new road for Sam and Dean where they actually get the opportunity to deal with their crap and move forward into the back end of the season, wanting to be together and being the awesome duo we know they can be. That’s the thought that’s going to get me through this hellatus anyway! Maybe with some puppies and rainbows! Maybe I'm in deanial...get it...DEANial... Yep. But seriously, I'm thinking in a few episodes, hopefully we’ll see some kind of harmony and balance work its way back into their lives…well as much as can be expected…because this is “Supernatural” and none of us expects a happy ending here.

I just wanted to say thanks so much for reading my stuff and for all your support. I really appreciate all your comments and feedback. I know we don’t always see eye to eye, but I dig that, because it makes it interesting and I love to read everyone else’s ideas. I read every comment, even if I don’t always respond. I really love this show and I really love these brothers and I really love this fandom – even when I want to salt and burn it - and I love being part of all the crazy. “Supernatural” is way more than a TV show for me and I have a lot of you to thank for that.

We’ve got some fun things planned here at WFB for the hellatus, so keep your eyes peeled for those and I’ll be around with something for sure!

Oh and one last thing…rugburn…who else was obsessed with the mark on Jensen’s face that was the supposed result of rugburn caused by mucking around (wrestling/fight training) with Misha and Jared in his hotel room while at Toronto Con. Boys. Bless.

See you soon…stay strong!
-sweetondean

sweetondean is Chief Editor and a Staff Writer for The Winchester Family Business