Got Con?

On this blog, Natalie regularly explores fandom (be sure to come back tomorrow and comment on her post!) and, boy, there's no better place to see fandom up close and personal than at a convention.

In elementary and middle school, I was mostly a nerd. Once I hit high school and AP classes, I found other likeminded souls, but until then, a lot of my peers simply knew me as "that weird book girl." And even then, FoxTrot was my favorite comic (with Jason, the nerdy little brother most likely to quote Star Wars verbatim and camp out for opening night tickets to Lord of the Rings, my favorite character.) One of the first friends I made when I went off to college had his own StarFleet uniform and Klingon dictionary. I was fairly secure by college, but I still thought of myself and a fair number of my friends as being on the outside of some invisible social norm. (Some people still see it this way. I was on a panel with some fellow published authors and asked one writer if she'd ever been to DragonCon--the woman to my left wrinkled her nose and actually said to me, "Isn't that where the crazy people with no life go?")

Now, frankly, I no longer think of myself as that far on the outside--it's fairly mainstream to see Harry Potter movies, read Kresley Cole (since she's on the NYT list, I know I'm not alone in buying her books!) or watch Supernatural (and let's face it, those Winchester boys are way more fun to look at than Harry and Ron *g*). I mean, it takes almost ten minutes of conversation before I start trying to discuss the philosophical importance of the Impala or sing you the entire Dr. Horrible Soundtrack, so if I'm quiet (and you ignore my Browncoats shirt), I almost pass for normal.

Peripherally, I've been aware of fan conventions (most commonly associated in pop culture with Star Wars or Star Trek) for years, but I never saw myself going to one. I don't have a lot of time or money to spare and it just seemed...odd. Going to a Renassiance Festival for a day of family fun was one thing, but actually trying to find room in the budget to travel to something where I'd spend a few days with strangers? I was content to share my raving FANaticism with friends on-line or try (possibly in vain) to beat my dad at Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit. But that's before I heard that Joss Whedon might be coming to DragonCon (held every Labor Day weekend in downtown Atlanta) and since he's a writer I've always wanted to meet, I decided to boldly go where I'd never gone before. (Ironically, Joss being on the guest list was apparently a misunderstanding, but I never regretted my decision. Now, I plan my family calendar around DragonCon, although I did miss it when my brother got married over Labor Day weekend.)

Now, conventions come in all flavors and sizes. I believe there are conventions dedicated SOLELY to Supernatural in Chicago, LA and Australia--I know Natalie's going to some kind of con or event soon and can't wait to hear all about it! Then there are events like Comic Con (this past weekend in NYC...I hear Jared Padalecki was there, which begs the question: why wasn't I?) The bigger cons have programming tracks from everything to music, anime, paranomal shows like Supernatural, Lost and Heroes, movies, novels, gaming, and comic books. Between attendees, guests and volunteers, DragonCon here in Atlanta involves approximately 40,000 people.

The noise and the color (and the costumes!) can be dizzying when you walk into one of the FOUR ginormous hotels that hosts the event (and that doesn't even count the numerous smaller overflow hotels). But once you've adjusted to the sensory overload and long lines (just bring a deck of cards, a good book, or strike up a debate with the girl behind you over whether you're SamGirls or DeanGirls), an amazing thing starts to happen. A bizarre camarederie with people you've never met before. It was like 40,000 people all sharing the same inside joke. (Trish and I were thoroughly entertained when we saw two women walk by in jerseys that simply stated on the front: "Bitch." "Jerk.") I got very little sleep and it felt like a zillion humid degrees, but I didn't care. In fact, my ONLY complaint about the weekend was that there weren't more panels dedicated specifically to Supernatural (and, of course, that Jensen Ackles wasn't there.)

I made new friends, picked up new insights, sang my heart out with a hundred other people (normally, something that only takes place in my shower [alone]) and stood in line at a local food court restaurant behind two Jedis, a dementor, Laura Croft, a few Cylons, a half dozen Dawns, and some guy so into his discussion of World of WarCraft that they had to call his order number four times. (This year, I'm going in costume!) Two of my biggest pasttimes are reading and writing, both pretty solitary, but I underestimated how much I would love the energy of the crowd and meeting people who have the same passions and laugh at the same jokes and get annoyed at the same cliffhangers and plot devices and memorize the same lines.

What about you? Ever been to a convention? Thinking about going? Do you think you'd prefer the small, intimate crowd of a con dedicated to just one thing or the crazy energy of one where you're likely to share an elevator with a Wookie, Jack Sparrow, the Yellow-Eyed demon and some dude toting bagpipes?

Coming This Week

Our show is heading in some dark directions. But not everything is despair and pain! Out here in the greater Supernatural world, some great things are going on.

Our topics for this week:

Monday: Tanya talks about why fan conventions rock.

Tuesday: Natalie describes the synergy of fandom--the theory that "liking a show" only turns into obsession passion because it's fed by belonging to a group of similarly passionate fans.

Wednesday: Terri reviews Supernatural: Origins, the comic book prequel that shows some things that happened as John became the hunter we know.

Thursday: Trish addresses the polarizing character of Ruby (love her or hate her?)

Friday: We're on hiatus again, so Mary will recap/review this week's repeat, "Yellow Fever."

Sex and Violence-MANY SPOILERS

**************SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE EPISODE*****************

Okay, this is my very first recap ever and I wrote it as I watched, so I didn't know the end before the beginning, though I'd heard somewhere that there would be a fight between the boys.

Opening scene, a woman with a meat tenderizer. Ohhhhh, not good. Her husband comes in, late, and she’s not happy. She tells him they’re going to a party and now he’s pissed. Uh-oh, he’s really pissed and beats her to death with the tenderizer. Told you. NOT good.

After the open, Dean wakes in a motel room to see Sam’s bed empty. He hears Sam in the bathroom on his cell, presumably talking to Ruby. And guh, are these boys beautiful. Sam’s found a news article about the man who killed his wife, and adds it’s the third man in two months to kill his wife.

The boys pose as lawyers this time. This is a new one. They go visit the husband in jail to find out what happened. He wasn’t possessed, he knew exactly what he was doing while he was doing it. Dean pulls out a bill for a stripper, not explaining how he got it. The husband confesses that he met the girl named Jasmine at a bachelor party and that she was everything he wanted. Jasmine had promised the husband they’d be together if his wife was out of the picture. He was supposed to meet the stripper after but she never showed. He doesn’t know her address or even her real first name. He says if he doesn’t get the death sentence, he’ll just kill himself.

Acting as an FBI agent, Sam goes to the office of the beautiful doctor who works for the sheriff’s department, who did the autopsies on the dead women and tox screens on their husbands. Dr. Cara Roberts is suffering from a hangover. Sam gently teases her, “Rough night?” “Fun night,” she replies. “Rough morning.” After inspecting his badge again, closely, she reveals that all three husbands had a high level of oxytocin in their blood, a hormone produced during childbirth, lactation and sex. Presuming the first two weren’t happening in these men…. No, she doesn’t know what causes such high level of oxytocin.

She is so flirting with Sam, and when Dean comes in, she blows him off. They leave, and Sam offers his cure for a hangover-a greasy breakfast. Dean says something to Sam as they walked out, but even though I rewound it three times, I didn’t understand.

Dean investigated the other husbands in the meantime, and those men had also hooked up with girls from a club called The Honey Wagon. But each man hooked up with a different girl. Sam suspects a love spell. Dean is just tickled they’re on an actual case involving strippers.



They visit the strip club where Dean has a hard time focusing on what the manager is telling him, because there are girls dancing all around. Sam comes in, having spoken to Bobby, natch, and Bobby’s theory is sirens, from the Greek myths. Sam’s a bit surprised Dean knows. Sam says they have a siren song, and Dean teases that it’s “Welcome to the Jungle,” or “Cherry Pie.” They theorize that it’s the same girl cloaking herself as different “dream girls.” They also realize that even if they find her, they don’t know how to kill her.

Meanwhile, one of the strippers slips over to a young man in a booth. She follows him home, where he’s caring for his invalid mother. They have sex on the couch, and in the mirror we see her extremely creepy reflection. Love it! After sex, she tells him that his mom takes up too much of his time and she could be with him forever if only his mother wasn’t around. He agrees to bash his mother’s brains in. He picks up a poker from the fireplace and disappears into his mother’s room. The siren dresses and leaves.

The next morning, Dean is looking at Sam’s phone on the table. He dials the last number and Ruby answers. Dean scowls and hangs up as Sam comes in. Sam’s been to visit the last victim/murderer in jail. Sam’s phone rings and Dean flinches, but it’s Bobby, who has some lore from a dusty Greek poem. To kill a siren, they need a bronze dagger, covered in the blood of a sailor under the spell of the song. When Dean asks what that means, Bobby says he doesn’t know, they’re dealing with “three thousand years of the telephone game.” He doesn’t think it’s an actual song, but a toxin she gets in their blood. She reads their minds and becomes just what they need.

“A Supernatural STD,” Dean observes.

Bobby believes a dose of her own venom will kill her, too. Sam has an idea. Bobby warns them to be careful, that sirens are tricky bitches.

Cut to Sam going back to the doctor. Ohhhhh. This time he brings Dean, wanting the blood samples from the husbands, believing the siren’s toxin will be there.

And whoa, there’s another FBI agent assigned to the case. He quizzes the boys, asking them their director’s name and badge numbers. The boys give him a card with their director’s name on it, and the agent dials, only to get Bobby, who reams him for asking stupid questions. Bobby hangs up, and there’s a row of phones in his kitchen, each with a different label for different agencies. LOL.

Sam wants Dean to keep the extra FBI agent busy, and the agent shows Metallicar love. Dean is pleased.

Sam stays with beautiful Dr. Roberts, telling her they know a specialist and want to test the blood to try out a theory, only the blood’s gone. Huh. Maybe my theory is wrong.

Dean and FBI boy are throwing back shots at the strip club and comparing classic rock knowledge. The FBI agent reveals that he found flowers at the crime scene, and he discovered the same flower was at every crime scene. Dean remembers seeing that flower before.

Cut to Dr. Robert’s office, where that flower is in a vase. Yeah, whatever, Sam looks terrific in a white shirt and loose tie. Together they go over security tapes (which they have, but she doesn’t lock her door) and discover the tapes have been tampered with. They discuss the case. She asks if he’s ever been in a relationship where he really loved someone but wanted to bash their head in. He kind of grins. Dean, maybe…..She offers him a drink and she starts talking about her ex-husband. Did I mention Sam looks really good? She talks about people changing, that she felt like she was married to a stranger. His phone rings and…yeesh, he looks REALLY good. He doesn’t answer. Ruby or Dean? I thin Ruby. Dr. Roberts talks about having no regrets and living life. Then she starts talking about his lips and….oh, wow, let me rewind that. I’m feeling a bit breathless here.

Hmm, okay. Back in motel room, Sam calls Dean. Dean apparently was the one who called, and he figured out the flowers are hyacinths, and that they’re from the Mediterranean. (Dean would know this?) Dean has the same suspicion as me, that Dr. Roberts is the siren. She’s only been in town two months and her husband dropped dead. Sam can’t believe it and Dean figures out that Sam had sex with Dr. Roberts. Dean goes off on Sam sleeping with monsters, Madison, Ruby and now Dr. Roberts. Sam insists he feels fine. Dean doesn’t want to meet up. He’s determined to handle it by himself. Sam hangs up and throws the phone across the room. Dean calls Bobby for back-up, and then he calls the FBI guy. Wow, he didn’t even think that one over. He must really like this guy.

FBI guy sees Dr. Roberts walk into the club. Dean joins him on the stakeout. Dean appreciates the fact that FBI guy trusts him.

Oh, MAN, I didn’t see that coming. FBI guy is asking Dean how he thinks the siren is infecting her victims. Dean mentions injections or physical contact, and shares his flask with FBI guy, who says, “Or saliva.” Damn, Dean gets it now, too. Too late.

FBI guy is the siren. His reflection in the rearview mirror is CRRRREEEEEEPPPPY. He wants Dean to kill Sam so FBI guy can be Dean’s brother, since he can’t trust Sam anymore. Dean agrees.

After the commercial, Sam walks into the motel room to see FBI/siren guy sitting on the bed, and Dean jumps him from behind, holding a big-ass knife to his neck. At the FBI/siren’s urging, Dean slices Sam’s neck, just a little. The siren tells Sam that he gave Dean what he wanted, and it wasn’t a girl in a g-string, but a little brother who looked up to him. He tells Sam that watching someone kill for you is the ultimate in devotion. Then he spits on Sam’s mouth, and tells the brothers to fight it out, that whoever wins can have him.



Dean starts, saying the brother he knew was gone. It’s not the demon blood or the psychic ability, but the secrets, like calling Ruby. He asks Sam what he’s not telling, and Sam says it’s none of his business. They used to be in this together.

Sam counters by saying he can’t get Dean to help him hunt down Lilith because Dean’s too weak, he’s holding Sam back. Sam declares himself stronger and smarter, and accuses Dean of sitting around feeling sorry for himself, whining about the souls he tortured in hell. Dean throws his knife at Sam, then Sam pins Dean to the door and beats the hell out of him, saying Dean can’t stand in his way anymore. They break the door down in the fight (isn’t that the same motel where Sam and Ruby were when Dean came back from hell?). Sam is on his back, catching his breath, and Dean breaks the glass for the fire ax.



“Tell me again how weak I am,” he taunts Sam, and as he raises the ax, Bobby shows up. He stabs Dean in the arm (blood of a sailor) and then throws the spear at the siren, who’s bolting. Sam protests, but Bobby hits his mark, and the siren goes down. As the spell breaks, the brothers look at each other, stunned by words that can’t be unspoken.

Oh, hell, I knew it was going to be another side of the road moment, with the boys drinking soda this time because the boys are driving. Bobby reveals it only took one call to discover the agent Nick Monroe wasn’t real.



Dean asks if Sam will say good-bye to Dr. Roberts, but he says no. Sam says he didn’t mean the things he said, that it was the spell talking. Dean doesn’t believe him. Neither do I. Do you?

The rift is getting bigger, y’all. I think I need to watch a few first season episodes to soothe me…..

The Five Year Plan

We’re more than halfway through Season 4 of Supernatural and most fans will agree the show has really broken out. Not only are the writers penning creeptastic, old school episodes (Family Remains) like those from season 1, they’re also expanding the overall mythology and character growth.

If you’ve been following our discussions here at Supernatural Sisters you know we’re predicting something wicked this way comes, and we’re not talking about your run-of-the-mill siren or ghost. The overall feel is that the Winchesters are heading for a dark showdown--even with each other--and not only does the fate of mankind hang in the balance, so does any hope of the boys having a future.

As the show amps up, and heads into a holy war, we’re left to ponder how Kripke is going to wrap things up. It’s well known that the genius behind Supernatural has always had a five year plan for his paranormal warriors and exec producer Sera Gamble has reiterated this several times. Last year she told Sci-Fi Wire it had “been in place since the show began."

But why? Isn’t there more story to tell? According to Cynthia of SF Universe, at last year’s L.A. Con Kripke said, “Season six would be the boys go to Hawaii and meet Vincent Price and then Dean would get on a motorcycle and literally jump a shark.” The horror! While we all want more Winchesters, we certainly don’t want to see Dean pull a Fonzie.

Yet in typical Supernatural wink-wink irony, episode 4.19 is called Jump the Shark and supposedly introduces a third Winchester. Hmm…. I sense a poke from the writer’s pencil, but Natalie will give us the full scoop on that in March.

In the meantime, we have to 1) hope the CW renews Supernatural for a fifth season (THEY BETTER!!!) and 2) realize if they do it will be the last season. Kripke told E! online fans, “… you want to go out on top—when you're still creatively effective—and you tend to inevitably get a little floppy in the storytelling when you go too long. So you want to pull the plug on the patient before you get a little too deteriorated. Also, this kind of a story, that has an epic sweep and has heroes and demons and the end of the world, you want the saga to come to an end definitely, and you want to watch a final episode that doesn't peter out like a limp balloon. You want it to end so when you cut to black, you can truly say, ‘That is the end of that story.’ So, I'm really campaigning hard to do that.”

I’ll admit the idea of one more season leaves me feeling mournful. There seems to be so much more story to tell and I don’t want things rushed. However, I fully agree that storylines can be dragged out too far and shows often lose their creative punch. As a fan I want the show to go out on Kripke’s terms because I trust his vision, and he says he already knows what the final scene will be, but the idea of losing the Winchesters is unthinkable.

So, how do you feel? Should Kripke stick to his five year plan? Give us more Supernatural stories? Or, as the rumor mill has suggested, do a spin off?

Dean's Hell

In Supernatural’s season 3 finale, “No Rest for the Wicked,” the unthinkable happened. Dean was dragged by hellhounds into hell, where we saw him suspended by hooks and chains, bellowing for his brother. *sob*



Over the course of season 4, we've learned a little bit about what happened while he was there.

WARNING: Spoilers for season 4!!!!

First, we heard screams and saw images of blood and flame, but Dean denied remembering what he'd been through.

Then we learned that four months in hell is more like 40 years. That hurt, because we can't imagine enduring something for that long (and, of course, it hurts because we love him!). Many fans have wondered why he's not so much more screwed up than he already is, and we wondered that even without knowing what he did for all that time away.

At the end of “Heaven and Hell” (4.10) Dean told Sam that for 30 years, Dean resisted Alistair's pitch for him to step off the torture rack and take over the whip. For 30 years, he was flayed alive, torn to shreds, probably by some of the demons who'd previously taunted him about doing just that. But finally, eventually, he couldn't take it anymore and he stepped down. And he started delivering the torture himself.

Honestly, I could relate. When I was in labor with Number One, I was so freakin' determined not to take ANY drugs. The nurse kept offering them, cajoling me, telling me it was okay to take something, it didn't mean I was weak, etc., etc. Finally, just to shut her up, I agreed. They checked me and I was 8 cm dilated, but before I could say "Wait! I can handle the rest!" they'd injected me with the evil Stadol.

Okay, not exactly the same thing, but still. I can understand how difficult it is to resist someone who won't leave you alone, especially when what they're offering will give you relief from unending pain.

Dean told Sam that he had a giant hole in him, that how he felt was unbearable. Then in “Family Remains” (4.11), he admitted that it wasn't just that he'd tortured souls, or that he'd traded them for himself. It was that he'd liked it. Giving pain eased his, and he reveled in the pleasure of it. I think we pretty much agree that he’s not just referring to the physical pain of being flayed to the bone, but the emotional pain he’s harbored all his life, especially the last few years.

On the surface, his revelation is disturbing. We all want Dean to be heroic and stronger than typical people. We want him to do no wrong, to be able to endure and rise above. Most of all, we want him to not suffer, especially at his own hand.

Since his return, there have been references to Dean being a “dick.” Of course, the fandom was in an uproar over that, but he really is. *ducks rotten tomatoes* Let's look at episode 1.1, "Pilot." Dean breaks into his brother's house, fights him instead of just saying "Hey, it's me," and ogles his girlfriend. He sleeps with truck stop waitresses with questionable rashes, yells at fat kids (and pounds them with dodge balls), steals, cheats, hustles...and, while justified, he spent a lot of time whining about how much he's given up for this family! *foot stomp* He's very much a dick.

Obviously, that's not all Dean is. Those things are all pretty inconsequential in the face of how many lives he's saved and the sacrifices he's made for his brother. It's very easy to overlook them, especially when you love someone like we love him.

Those things don’t make Dean “belong” in hell. But because of them, I don't think his response to hell is out of character.

Have you ever been really, really mad about something, and slammed a door or whipped a hairbrush against the wall? Do you remember how good it felt to lash out, to release the frustration and pain? If the hairbrush broke, or it hit someone walking by the door you just flung the brush through, you probably felt immediately remorseful, maybe even disgusted with yourself.

Dean has had a lifetime of that kind of emotion. He never got over his mother's death, never got what he needed from his dad, never found a home, a place to belong, meaning to his life beyond protecting Sam. Add to that 30 years of being flayed alive, probably mentally and emotionally as well as physically, and yes, it makes absolutely perfect sense that he'd enjoy dishing it out for once. Not to mention that once he stopped at the end of each day, the pain probably returned, ensuring he’d continue his job the next day.

Others, including my brilliant Sisters here, have pointed out that Dean doesn't realize that he wasn't unique. What he was going through was how humans become demons. Hell (in this world) takes the worst of humanity and compresses it, twists it, hardens it until, for the most part, all the good is wrung out. (Ruby and Casey seem to be either exceptions or evidence that the good can still exist, even when overly influenced by the bad--but that's another topic.)

Now Dean's home. He can look at what he did with a "normal" perspective, not from within the rage and pain. He hates it, and has probably latched on to it as yet another reason he's not worthy, to take some responsibility off his shoulders (because it's hard to overcome that self-hate and "become" worthy). He said he didn't care who was in front of him, but now, at least, he has to. He can’t assume they deserved it. He knows better than anyone that some souls don't. Some did deals, some even for noble reasons, and wound up down there anyway.

But whether the people deserved it isn't relevant. The real issue is how much more it punished Dean to deliver torture than to take it. Remember John? Who was in hell for 100 years? I bet Dean has thought about that a lot since he got back, and what his father endured, and maybe at whose hand.

Dean went to hell because he thought his brother was more important than he was. That self-loathing would have festered and been fed while in hell, which is as much, if not more, about internal pain as external. Shredding a person's psyche is essential to turning them into a demon, a creature of evil. Physical pain can be mentally escaped, but not mental pain. So Dean can't look outward and say, "Okay, I was being used, and those people probably deserved it, mostly." He can only look inward and see the horror. That's part of his torture, and I'm sure Alistair takes great pride in the fact that Dean brought it out with him. Part of the insidiousness of hell is that if you escape physically, whether as human or as demon, you house it inside you, perhaps forever.

So what does that mean for Dean? He's afraid his death will send him back to hell. He might even think that being in hell made him deserve to be there, kind of like how people who go to jail often become worse criminals. He's tried to fill the hole in him created by the torture he induced, but after saving the family in “Family Remains” (and failing to save the uncle), decided he never can. He's resigned to being damaged and wounded forever.

A lot of people have said they can't believe Dean can heal from this. That it's too much. And certainly, we know that in real life, there are people who've succumbed to the horrors of war or truly horrendous circumstances, abuse and torture and pain and disgusting things, and turned into horrible things themselves.

But we've also all read about, or maybe even know, people who've gone through hell on earth and not only survived, but gone on to thrive. People who've found meaning and happiness, self-forgiveness and love. I believe it's possible.

On the other hand, people who thrive are removed from whatever they endured. They've found a peaceful place, in some way. In the context of the show, Dean can't ever escape what he knows. Even if he created a cocoon, found a place the evil could never penetrate, he would still know it was out there, would still know there was one less person fighting it. So that peace may not ever be something he can attain without divine intervention.

Who knows which way the writers intend to take it? Even if I weren’t so totally possessed by this show, I’d be in it to the end, just to find out.

I know there are many brilliant points I failed to make here, so please jump into the comments with your own thoughts, disagreements, etc.!

Local Boy Makes Good

My hometown doesn’t have a lot of celebrities. I remember Henry Thomas was a big deal when ET came out because he was from San Antonio. Carol Burnett was born here, and Joan Crawford, James Roday from Psych, Summer Glau from The Sarah Connor Chrionicles and the girl who plays Tiffy on The Unit, but not many others you would have heard of. Oh, and Eva Longoria is married to a Spur, but that doesn’t really count.

So I was really excited to learn, after I got hooked on Supernatural, that Jared Padalecki is from San Antonio. Even cooler, he grew up less than 5 miles from where I grew up, and attended a rival high school, James Madison High. (He graduated after I’d already been teaching 10 years, but we won’t talk about that.) When I’d take my son to his friend’s house, I’d drive by Madison, along the same route Jared must have come to school.



Every year my mom and I go to a crafts fair there, and I think, wow, Jared walked these halls. (There’s no recognition of his success or anything, though.) My dh and ds know me too well, because they mock me.

He grew up in the neighborhood behind the Eckerds where I used to work. I wonder if young Jared ever came in with his parents.



According to Wikipedia, his mom teaches journalism at a different local high school. I wonder if she’s gotten tons of email from fans, because I just found her school email. My son is in journalism, and I wanted him to look up Mrs. P at some of the journalism events he’s gone to, but he won’t. Bad boy.

One of the members of my writing chapter SARA worked with Jared when he was in drama. She taught at a different high school but apparently the drama community in NEISD is close-knit, because she said he’d greet her with effusiveness when he’d see her.

Apparently Jared still has affection for San Antonio because during filming of Friday the 13th in Austin, he’d come visit his folks. And I know he and Jensen had some good natured rivalry when the Spurs and Mavericks were in the playoffs last year.

I don’t imagine I’ll ever run into Jared in my hometown, but having the connection makes me want his success even more.

Tanya is a Wuss--and those Winchesters Aren't Helping!

very mild spoilers for episodes past


THEN:

I've always been a total wuss, but I tried to hide my shameful secret. I went to scary movies with dates, reluctantly played Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board at slumber parties (never actually worked, btw, but was thoroughly creepy), graciously read Stephen King when a well-meaning friend who knew my parents couldn't keep me in books gave me a bunch of free novels, sat through Scream with my college roommates... I thought if I toughed it out, I'd become braver. Eventually. Instead, what happened was that during my two pregnancies, I experienced nightmares so vivid that they made HiDef look like grainy black and white, and I abandoned the stupid Get Brave plan. I've now embraced the much more effective Cover Your Eyes! approach. I avoid books that I think will scare me--if I'm a friend of the author, I'll buy a copy and give it to my fearless sister--I take the kids trick-or-treating at Halloween, but only in funny costumes and only in well lit yards of people we trust not to jump out at us, I make my husband go see horror flicks without me, and I won't go anywhere near Six Flags for the entire month of October. (One FrightFest in my teens was quite enough, for me, thank you.)

J (the husband) finds it amusing that I refuse to see any movies with demonic activity in them, but for awhile, my favorite TV show was about a high school girl who slayed demons (namely vampires)on a weekly basis. I was a devoted fan of Buffy and Angel and a casual watcher of Charmed and Gilmore Girls (Jared Padalecki's previous TV gig) so when I first heard about Supernatural, I thought I'd give it a try. The night it premiered, I tuned in...and didn't even make it to the first commercial break. I freaked out about Mary running back up the stairs to check on the baby and changed the channel even before the disturbing part of her being pinned to the ceiling, dripping blood on her infant, and bursting into flame. Of course, as I was watching, J was downstairs in his recliner and our toddler was in her crib down the hall. Perhaps the situation cut a little close to home--not that I've ever been pinned to the ceiling. And I'd like to keep it that way.

Friends of mine, who are wise and have good taste, were aghast that I wasn't watching. "Come on!" they prompted. "It's a combo of horror and wise-ass remarks. Strong writing, interesting characters--right up your alley! You've seen every single episode of Buffy. This isn't that much scarier... Jensen Ackles is in it. He was cute in Dark Angel!"

(Cute is not the word for Jensen. The word you are looking for is smokin' hot.)

Still, I held off. For two whole seasons! Until my plane out of Nashville was delayed and Trish kindly let me crash at her place for a few hours. Which was more than long enough for her to put the pilot episode in her DVD player...

NOW:

So, I'm hooked. Own the DVDs, seen every ep, wrote an essay for BenBella, have Carry On My Wayward Son and Eye of the Tiger as ring tones... But mine is not an entirely healthy relationship with the show. It's more like those classic gothic romance novels where the heroine was falling in love with the hero but also, on some level, scared to death of him. There were one or two episodes of Buffy that I will admit to having to watch with all the lights on, episodes that would haunt me as I tried to fall asleep ("Hush" being among the worst) but I didn't have to cover my face or hide behind my husband every week.

Have I become an even BIGGER wuss since my Buffy/Angel days, or is there something specific about Supernatural? I vote the latter (because, frankly, the former is embarrassing.) A few weeks ago, Natalie recapped "Family Remains" and referenced a scene that reminded her of The Changeling, which she credited as the scariest movie she's ever seen. Natalie mentioned other classic horror movie tropes used in the episode and, while this probably goes without saying, I'm sure each and every one of them were deliberate. Critics of Supernatural will occasionally say that the show is too "derivative." Those people are missing the point.

The reason Supernatural is so freaking scary is because, usually, it's about stuff we we're already scared of (whether that's getting on a plane, growing old, or "Bugs"). It's like why a good running gag works--because it builds on amusement we already feel--but in some sort of sick reverse, calling up bad memories and phobias I already own and exacerbating them. I remember as an elementary school student near Dallas being terrified when someone told me about a ghost sighting at White Rock Lake. That story, of picking up a girl in a car, only to reach her destintation and learn she was a ghost who could "never go home," gave me shivers for years, when I was far too young to know what Urban Legend meant or to realize that there were hundreds of variations for different locations. Then I watched the first episode of Supernatural, where the dude picked up the (dead) woman in his car and tried to take her home. ("I can never go home.") You know how many slumber parties I suffered through when I was the only girl awake, worried about Bloody Mary, for hours after everyone else was sleeping in the dark house? Watching that episode from season one (thanks a lot, Trish! *g*) reignited the long-held anxiety I feel whenever I walk by a mirror in a dimly lit room. (Random aside, to get into my bathroom, I have to pass between two mirrored walls. After the Blood Mary episode, I began taking this corridor at an Olympic sprint.)

Now, not all Urban Legends are equally scary. The Hook Man story always struck me as more hokey than creepy--I was absolutely fine watching that episode until I suddenly recalled another urban legend that I heard on the same camping trip. With a shudder, I turned to the friend who was watching the episode with me and said, "Do you know the one about the dog licking the hand?" She said, "Do I even want to ask?" I said no and quickly repressed the memory. (Thanks a lot, "Family Remains" for bringing that up again!"

The show doesn't just rely on familiar legends, but even visual cues--like the ball rolling down the stairs Natalie mentioned or the first season episode "Home" with the creepy wind-up monkey that evokes an old Stephen King cover. Those ugly little cymbal-playing simians are always shorthand for Evil! Seriously, do you know anyone who would actually give one of those to a little kid? And the garbage disposal later in the same episode? Come on, we all saw that coming! The only question was a tense, apprehensive when?. (An event I could identify only by sound, because you can be damn sure I had both eyes securely covered any time a character got within twenty feet of the sink.) The writers were fully aware that parts of that episode were reminiscent of Poltergeist; just like they know that the Scarecrow episode was a bit Children of the Corn crossed with The Lottery (a disturbing little short story by Shirley Jackson).

Come to think of it, this was my main problem with "Hush" (the aforementioned Buffy episode), too. Sure The Gentleman were visually creepy and don't even get me started on the deranged lackeys in their straight-jackets, but my fear went a lot deeper than the makeup and visual effects. Do you know how many times I've had the nightmare where I was trying to scream but couldn't?

Sometimes, episodes are gory or disgusting ("Skin," this means you...) but a lot of time the fear Supernatural evokes is more than just me being squeamish. It's deeper than that because it's playing on an old emotion the same way people married a long time or siblings can press each other's buttons because they know exactly what those unique button are. I sometimes see a fan post on-line that they thought a certain element of the show was a cliche, but in at least 99% of the cases, I don't think it was the writers being lazy. It was usually the writers playing up something in the collective conscious for effect. Often, that effect is fear, but sometimes it's comedy, playfully recognizing the every day objects that give many of us the heebie jeebies--such as Sam's fear of clowns in season 2 or Dean being unnerved by the dolls in "Playthings."

DEAN: This is a lotta dolls. Er, they're nice...Not super creepy at all.

When it comes to the overall plot of Supernatural, the writers give us the twists (Dean's going to hell--and the angels pulling him out!) but when it comes to the monsters of the week, they usually go back to basics. Why? BECAUSE IT WORKS! True story:

J and I, for obvious reasons, wait until the kids are safely tucked away in bed before we try to watch an episode of Supernatural. We had just started "Home" in the DVD player (with the family moving into Dean and Sam's childhood house and the girl who should be in bed comes to tell her mother that There's Something In The Closet) when we heard footsteps on the stairs. I automatically paused the show and changed the channel (my daughter doesn't fall asleep easily--if she accidentally glimpses this show, she won't sleep again until she's thirteen) and waited. Sure enough, my little girl appeared in the doorway. And said, "Mommy, there's something in my closet."

J and I turned to each other with simultaneous, "YOU go check!" And then we watched a nice soothing sitcom...