Tuesday, June 15, 2010

In the Name of Love

I just finished watching Stonehenge Apocalypse with the intent to review it for this blog, but…I just couldn’t do it. While it’s nowhere near as bad as Raptor Island or Ice Spiders, it was, well, it was not good.

It did, however, give me an idea—craptacular movies I’ve watched in the name of love for the boys.

Let’s start with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who, let’s face it, is the reason I started watching the show in the first place.

“Dead and Breakfast,” a zombie movie with hints of humor that Tanya would never forgive me for mentioning. JDM plays a sheriff who leads the young tourists in their fight against the zombie horde. Nothing redeeming in this movie. Nothing.

“Six: The Mark Unleashed,” a religious movie set in a prison, otherwise completely forgettable. One of the Baldwins was in it. Oh, just terrible.

“Taking Woodstock.” He was in it about a minute, and the other minutes I was bored. Bored bored bored.

“Kabluey.” I actually bought the DVD and he’s in it about 10 minutes, as the lecherous boss of the main down-on-his-luck character’s sister.

“Live.” There is NO WAY I would have watched this movie without JDM. It was a horrible concept, people playing Russian Roulette on live TV, with portraits of each contestant shown to sway your pity. Terrible terrible terrible. But he looked really good.

Now Jensen has had slightly better taste in the roles he’s taken. Well, actually, he’s been in more good TV than bad movies.

“Devour” was the worst. So bad I’ve actually blocked it out. All I remember is the last scene, which was very bloody.

“My Bloody Valentine” was as good as Jensen could make it. Not particularly suspenseful, though, even if I hadn’t been spoiled.

For Jared, there are three:

“House of Wax,” though he’s very heroic.

“The Christmas Cottage,” which I know others didn’t mind, but drove me nuts with its sappiness,

“Friday the 13th,” but he looked REALLY good, and it was filmed in Texas. Totally worth my time. Twice.

What movies have you watched out of love for the boys?