Review - Supernatural 9.08 "Rock and a Hard Place"

Owies. The pain! Here I was having a perfectly good time. There was creepy scenes, scary dungeonous pits, awesome Sam and Jody being awesome, Dean being cocky, bummed out, nervous, awkward and then…um… Olé! It was all kind of joyous and then…IT WASN’T! OhSupernatural; when you’re really good, you’re really painful!

Before I get to the heart-ripping-out Sam and Dean stuff…

The teaser had me on tenterhooks. I was for sure thinking that Honor was about to be yanked out from under her car by her ankles! I never thought that the whatever the hell was after her was going to lift up the car! That really just started the creep because then the poor girl was dropped into a hole in the ground, waking up in the dark not knowing where she was and having to try and find her way by only the glow of a taser! I mean it really was the stuff of nightmares. Then there was the other girl scraping the wall, over and over and over until her nails were shredded and her fingers bled. Then hey, due to lack of water, why not make her suck the blood off her fingers to quench her thirst. Yikes! That was hardcore. It was all so dark and nasty in the best possible way.

Meanwhile at the church Sam and Dean were becoming virgins!

See, this is where the show excels. It manages to have this horrible scenario unfolding, one that makes you shudder at the idea of it and it sits it next to something so funny that you can’t help but laugh out loud!

I love Sam and Dean becoming virgins, even though I agree with Dean, you can’t unring that bell! The moment when they told their reason’s for joining the purity group was such a treat. Yes, we’d all seen Dean’s overshare in the preview, but somehow that didn’t make it any less enjoyable. I swear there were more sound effects from the women in the episode than in the preview version. They seemed to be making more little noises…or was that me.

And Dean and Suzy. Watching him go from, cocky I’ve got this covered, to the realisation he was barking up the wrong tree, to awkward excitement when he found Suzy’s DVDs, to the realisation that, holy crap she’s right, she is right in front me, maybe this is going to happen after all, to the Spanish, to the hoisting her up onto his lovely hips. It was…well I thought it was fun and sexy. Seriously when he told Suzy to ask him again if he was a bad boy, but this time in Spanish, I laughed out loud…then I may have whimpered a little. (Wee bit of an over share, Amy?) 

Of course the scene wasn’t perfect…I mean, as much as I enjoyed it I was also torn, because, well…if we’re going to have a sex scene what the hell with all the layers! (Hey, I’m nothing if not shallow and possibly facetious.) I liked the scene. Actually, I even kind of liked that they were in such a hurry; they left their gear on. I didn’t care. Dean had me at hoisting Suzy on to his hips. D-amn. And the “Olé!” in the soundtrack made me guffaw. And that gif sequence on tumblr of the whole thing… “g”

Dean’s a bad boy, always was and always will be. He likes sex, he doesn’t apologise for that and he’s even told us all about it now. Thanks for the visuals, Dean! I’ve always liked this side of Dean. He’s not a perfect character, he’s far from the perfect guy (wait, what?) and this bad boy thing has been part of his character since the moment we met him checking out his brother’s girlfriend in her smurf pjs. It’s a part of Dean’s personality that I personally enjoy and I love it when he gets to let that side of him loose and I really love, that through all his bravado he still get’s nervous and through all his bad boy moves, he comes across as tender. His life, for the most part is one waking bad dream. Suzy was one of the good dreams. I liked it a lot when he said that. 

Of course the blue flash of deity fire kind of spoiled the afterglow a little!

Meanwhile back at the motel.

Gosh I love Sam and Jody together. They were both fabulous in this episode. In fact, that was one thing I liked the most about “Rock and a Hard Place” everyone was well written for their characters. Sam was very Sam, Dean was very Dean and Jody was even more awesome than I remembered.

I should tell you, I saw Kim Rhodes recently at Armageddon in Melbourne, Australia and spent a fair bit of time chatting to her and saw a couple of her panels. She loved doing this episode and told a few funny stories. It was the first time she’d had to do a fight sequence and she did all her own stunts. She was super proud of it. She was super proud that she didn’t need a stand-in. Like all of us, she’s got a great big crush on both the boys, but maybe a little bit bigger on Jensen. She talked about the scene where she had to hug Sam. It was the shot where she was supposed to release him and she just stayed hugging Jared and the director called action and she kept hugging…action…hugging…action…hugging… “Um Kim?” “I’m working up to it okay!?” Then she talked about how when she’s around Jensen she kind of loses it and he knows it and kind of tortures her with it. In one scene they were standing next to each other listening to the director’s feedback and Jensen just reaches out a hand and touches her. She said she instantly heard nothing the director was saying. Then Jensen as casual as anything pulls his hand back. She turned to him going, “You can’t do that! You have to tell me everything that was said now, because when you do that, all I see is THIS” and she made wild hand gestures indicating his face and body. Apparently he just smirked at her. Another time in the scene where the guys pull up in the Impala, they had to do another take so Jensen had to back the Impala out to reset for the shot. As he drove past Kim, he stopped beside her, wound down the window and winked. Kim just turned into a puddle right then and there as Jensen continued to drive away…laughing. Don’t you just love them. Don’t you just love her for being just like us.

Anyway, Sam and Jody together are such a treat. There’s a lovely dynamic between those two characters. A nice respect. Jody definitely has a kind of a nurturing, motherly vibe towards Sam and I love the relationship that’s grown between them. It’s so great seeing them work a case together. Sam’s knowledge blurting out ideas, Jody looking them up on the computer. It’s cool. 

They had some lovely dialogue too. I absolutely adored what Jody said to Sam about his relationship with Dean. That Sam already has the comfort that everyone is looking for, in his relationship with his brother. That what they have is something special. YES JODY, IT IS! She was kind of summing up the show in one sentence…Sam and Dean; they’ve got something special. Through everything they’ve been through, through everything they’ve inflicted on each other, it’s a constant, they have something special that other people in their lives can see, even if sometimes the brothers can’t. I love it when the show is the audience for a moment. I think that ‘something special’ is about to become very relevant...

Then there was Dean putting that twit in his place – man I love it when he goes all no nonsense hero guy, the evil doer monologue (will the evil doer never learn to keep their nefarious plot to themselves?), the fight between Jody and Vesta and then Vesta lay her ET phone home finger on Sam…and… 

Oh Sam. All he wants is to be ‘normal’ feel ‘normal’. We know he’s always felt like a freak. He told us back in “Metamorphosis” that he was “a whole new level of freak”. In “The Great Escapist” he told us he’d always felt like he wasn’t clean, he wasn’t pure, like he couldn’t be like the hero in the stories that his big brother used to tell him, because he knew something was not right with him, because he could feel the demon blood in his veins and the evil of that. But he had hope, because of the trials. He felt like he was being purified somehow, that maybe all this sacrifice, all this good meant he could finally feel whole…

But the trials destroyed him; they didn’t restore him as he hoped. He was turned to mush inside and Dean made the terrifying decision to allow an angel into his brother to try to heal him from the inside out.

It all looked like maybe it was working. Sam felt better. Happier than ever. He was running again. He felt good. But was that really Sam? Or was that the power of Ezekiel within.

In the last couple of episodes, we’ve seen Sam appear to get weaker, more tired. Something is wrong. Automatically your mind assumes that maybe it’s because of Ezekiel’s extracurricular activities – he’s been on a resurrection binge. Has this weakened the angel to such a degree that’s it's weakened Sam?

I’ve wanted desperately to believe that maybe this time, the Winchesters had come in contact with an angel that remembered that their Father wanted them to love humanity, not look at it like it’s simply a pathetic horde of hairless apes. My heart wanted Ezekiel to be true and honest. My head kept reminding my heart what show we are watching!

The Goddess Vesta opened our eyes. She told Sam and us that Sam was “all duct tape and safety pins inside”. Oh…crap. 

So has Ezekiel been healing Sam at all? Or has he just been using Sam’s energy to heal himself. Sam feels like he can’t recharge, like his battery is being drained. Is Ezekiel just a parasite, tapping into Sam’s life force to restore himself and not repairing Sam in the process? What if Ezkekiel is essentially destroying Sam. Carving out an empty vessel that will give him no trouble. Or what if Ezekiel has been draining Sam’s soul? Repairing his angelic powers to the point that he can even zap away in a flurry of off camera wing sounds? Cass used Bobby’s soul to fix himself and look how that knocked Bobby around. Is that why Sam is feeling like he is? You can seem I'm starting to panic!

Oh Sam. He’s exhausted and once again, starting to doubt himself. Starting to feel like the promise of the trials has come to nothing. We’ve seen him struggling to make sense of the feeling that something’s not right, now he's finally told his brother how he's feeling… “Why does it have to be something else, it’s always something else, we’re always scraping to find some other explanation, when maybe it is just me…I’m a mess Dean, and you know it and sometimes I feel like, maybe I’m never going to actually be all right…or this is just the way I am”. 

Of course at this point, Dean can’t take it anymore and decides his brother needs to know the truth, it’s not him that’s not right. We know Dean’s been struggling with this secret from the get go. He never wanted to keep what he did a secret from Sam. We’ve seen a few moments where it looked like he was about to spill the beans. Now Dean sees what all this is doing to his brother. Seeing Sammy go through this again, have to relive all these feelings again… Dean hangs his head, “I can’t let you put this on yourself…” wipes a nervous hand down his face and sets his jaw, “it’s not you, Sam…”

BOOM. Ezekiel. 

Ice ran through my veins.

I’d always assumed at some point, either Sam would figure the whole mess out, or Dean, out of the guilt gnawing at his bones, would finally tell Sam. But there’s no way that can happen, because Zeke won’t let Sam remember enough to help him figure out what’s going on and Dean can’t get to Sam for Zeke. Zeke won't allow it. Any hope I had was dashed when those blues eyes erupted and Zeke said, “I wouldn’t do that Dean”. I moaned and grabbed my heart.

Ezekiel says it’s because Sam’s not ready, he’ll die if he ejects the angel now and Dean’s stuck between a rock and a hard place of wanting to tell his brother everything but not wanting his brother to die and there’s not a damn thing he can do about it. Because he doesn’t know what the truth is and he can't get to his brother because there's an angel blocking the way.

I’m starting to believe Ezekiel is essentially holding Sam hostage and using Dean’s love of his brother against them both.

Has Ezekiel been manipulating Dean from the start? Was there ever any hope for Sam or did the angel simply say there was to get himself a sweet a vessel? Every resurrection seemed to tap the angel out, the implication being he was doing a service for Dean at his own expense, but was all this simply a ruse to get Dean further over the barrel? He allows Dean to see that Sam’s not feeling great. He allows Vesta to spy on Sam’s insides. He allows Sam to tell Dean he feels shattered both physically and emotionally. Everything to reinforce what Zeke’s been telling Dean and make Dean feel like there’s no other choice than to allow the angel to stay put. 

Damn you, Zeke. I’m officially not a fan.

A couple of things have started to scare the bejebus out of me. 

When Ezekiel does leave, or is forcibly ejected from Sam, will Sam be in the same state we found him at the beginning of the season? Ready to let go of this life and move on. Certainly his current, defeated mind set would put weight to this. This scenario has been alluded to by Jared and also, with all the talk from Jensen about Dean being in a dark place emotionally, you’ve got to figure that there’s a pretty good chance that Dean’s dark place is because of where we’re going to find Sam land. I always assumed Sam would find out and be mad, the brothers would have a fight, probably get past it in a couple of episodes and move right along. Bury another hurt as only the Winchesters can. But, if Sam’s “practically dead inside” maybe it’s going to be a whole lot worse than that. Right now a fight sounds bloody awesome, because the alternative frightens the crap out of me.

Is Zeke going to shoot through wearing Sam? Is Dean going to wake up one morning in the bunker and Sam will be gone? Zeke will have just walked off with his brother. Or Dean will somehow try to stop Zeke and Zeke will zap Dean. Zeke is obviously still powerful enough to zap a room full of demons, to restore life to Dean’s dead friends…so how could Dean ever hope to stop him if he decided to just up and leave. Like leave, with Sam attached. I’m making my stomach hurt just thinking about it.

The thing is, it’s more than the physical desolation of Sam that's so troubling, it’s the spiritual desolation. He’s losing faith in himself again. He was all slumped and deflated. This is going nowhere good.

It hurts so much to see Sam going through this again. I want him restored and feeling good about himself. Having faith in himself and believing in the goodness that’s out there, like he once did. Being the positive to Dean’s angry negative. As I said to a friend recently, being the Yin to Dean’s Yang. The balance. He’s had to deal with demon blood, being the vessel of Lucifer, being soulless, being sent crazy, being torn apart on the inside by some trials that God put forward that served to kill you if you rose to the challenge. He thought he was finding salvation from all the self-doubt that has plagued him since he was a child. Now, he’s all duct tape and safety pins and feeling like shit about himself again. (Excuse the language but it seemed appropriate). Oh my gosh. My heart can’t take it…for Sam or for Dean *wibble*

When Zeke said he promises it won’t be much longer, maybe I should believe him. When Dean said, you gotta have a little faith, maybe I should try *grasps at straws* but this show has moulded me into something else and I’m dreading with glorious anticipation what’s to come.

Remind me again why I watch a show that causes me so much emotional upheaval? Oh yeah, because it’s awesome!

 “Rock and a Hard Place” did everything I think Supernatural does the best. It creeped me the hell out of me. It made me screw up my face and go “ewwwww”. It made me laugh out loud. It made me a little hot under the collar in the very best of ways. And it ripped my heart out and threw it against the wall, laughing maniacally as it dribbled slowly towards the floor, landing as a frightened little quivering blob, beating at a rate that’s really not healthy.

I am officially terrified.

Bring on the mid-season cliff-hanger.

I’ll just be over here rocking back and forth mumbling, “it’s just a TV show, it’s just a TV show”.
-sweetondean

Review - Supernatural 9.07 "Bad Boys"

Once upon a time I fell for this show. It was kinda creepy and then there were these two brothers... 

As time went on I fell head over heels in love with both of them. I loved how they loved each other. I could see it was co-dependent and not very healthy, but I didn’t seem to be able to muster up the ability to care! I loved them too much and I loved how they loved, pure and simple.

As time went on their lives became somehow intermeshed with mine. I celebrated their wins, I wept at their tragedies, I yelled at them when they lied, I laughed when they lost a shoe. 

Their story got more and more complex, people came into their world, some stayed, some died and I cried alongside the brothers for those losses.

The brother’s story got big, like Heaven and Hell big and I hung on with everything I had as the ride went from crazy to wild! I loved every journey, every epic mythic arc, every moment of world changing destiny revealed, but I never lost sight of one thing…why I fell in love with this show. I never lost sight of that, ever. It was kinda creepy and then there were these two brothers…

I watch this show with my heart; I don’t know how to watch it any other way. I don’t see the minutia other fans see. I’m not interested in unravelling the nitty gritty to find the cracks in the canon or the characterisations. My heart just doesn’t see that stuff. Maybe it’s rose-coloured blindness, or my blind optimism, but to me it’s not worth sacrificing what has become an intrinsic part of the fabric of my being, to look for those things, even when I know others see them. Love is blind I guess and yeah, I love Supernatural.

So you won’t be surprised to read that “Bad Boys” had me at hello…or rather at, take your brother outside as fast as you can… You knew that already though right? You guys know me by now. How did you think I would feel about this episode! It was all about the man I love with great big capital letters that reach to the sky and block out everything else from view. Dean Winchester is my heart and his brother Sam resides there with him.

As we head towards what we know is going to be a painful revelation, it was important for us to be reminded who these brothers once were and still are and what they mean to each other and it was important for the brothers to be reminded of this too. 

“Bad Boys” was an exercise in reconnecting us with what is the spirit of Supernatural, what the brothers represent in each other’s lives and what may be compromised or lost because on a tragic November night, one brother took the other into his arms and has never been able to let go.

It’s been a long time since an episode has made me cover my eyes and look away because of squick and it’s been a long time since an episode has left me sobbing uncontrollably! “Bad Boys” made me do both.

I loved the good ole’ fashioned ghost hunt. The salt and burn. The story about a kid who lost his mum to fire and who was both literally and figuratively haunted by that tragedy. I loved the horrific bathtub suffocation and the errant lawn mower causing a kid to need about 8,000 stiches. Squick! Yes that’s when I covered my eyes and had to look away and I loved the walk through Dean’s memories, to a time not even Sam knew about.

I was glad to see, that like most teenagers, Dean had a rebellious streak. He wasn’t always the good little soldier. I never thought he would’ve been. There’s more to Dean that than. He’s deeper than that. We’ve seen him slip out on Sam to go play video games and though that taught him a valuable lesson, being don’t do that, he was still a cocky S.O.B. when we later met him in high school, making out in the janitor’s closet with a couple of chicks on the hop. I’m sure, regardless of his eventual dedication to the family business and devotion to his father, like all teenagers, he had his moments and apparently one of those moments ended up with him in enough trouble that he wound up in a boy’s home.


Why John decided to leave Dean there we don’t know. Maybe he was angry, teaching his kid a lesson, trying to make him understand there are consequences to all actions, especially if you’re a Winchester, or maybe he knew that for a couple of months Dean would be safe and saw that as a good thing for his son. Whatever his reason all those years ago, I’m glad he did it, because it gave Dean a moment of normality in his otherwise chaotic life.

Dean went to school, became a wrestling champ and learnt how to kiss a girl! Normal teenage stuff. I’m so glad Dean has those memories. I’m also glad that for a fleeting moment that life was something Dean considered as a possible future. I’d be truly worried if he didn’t. Because given his everyday circumstance, that life, with young love blossoming, should have seemed attractive to him. Later on down the years, every so often he still pined for that kind of life, though he grew to understand that it could never be his and just as has happened in more recent times it only took one thing to make Dean know where his place truly was and always will be. It only took Sam.


Seeing his little brother waiting outside in the car caused all thoughts of another life to evaporate and a smile as wide as the great outdoors to spread across Dean's face. He walked away, never looked back and never regretted it. Because of Sam. Sam was and still is Dean’s world and I can’t do anything but love him for that. In fact…this is where I sobbed…uncontrollably! Sam is Dean’s happiness and by Sam’s side is where he will always want to be, for better or worse.

Though I adored the flashbacks to Dean’s past and discovering a side of Dean that we had yet to see, it was the brothers in the present day that made my heart sing.



It was the moments when Dean was helping the kids at the home, whether putting bullies in their place or teaching little Timmy how to shake hands Kung-Fu grip style. It was the moments where Sam figured out Dean had liked that girl and teased him for it, or marvelled that Dean was an athlete back in the day, or saw the pentagram carved into the bedpost and smiled. It was Dean’s softness that was amplified as he tried to comfort a kid who’d lost everything and it was Sam’s wistful looks as he saw his big brother through fresh eyes.

It was the Winchesters, once again, calling out each other’s names, having each other’s backs, fighting side by side, working as one.

It was a big brother who loved his little brother so much that nothing else mattered and a little brother who saw that love and loved his big brother even more because of it.

“Dean, thank you”

“For what?”

“For always being there… for having my back… Look I know it always hasn’t been easy…”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about”



“Bad Boys” was the boiled down essence of everything I fell in love with when it came to Supernatural. Everything I fell in love with when it came to the brothers Winchester. Everything I fell in love with in Dean. It was an hour of pure, joyous nostalgia.

I sobbed uncontrollably at the end of this episode. I really did! Big blubbery sobs. I sobbed for many reasons…in sadness for the life that these brothers have to endure, for all the things they’ve had to give up, for Sam reaching out to Dean to say thanks and for Dean, who only had to see his little brother to know, that he could be nowhere else but by Sam’s side. I sobbed uncontrollably at the happiness they fill me with and the beauty that lay at the heart of these two men. *sigh* They're so awesome!

Yup, I fell head over heels for Supernatural all over again this week and even though I wouldn’t have thought it at all possible, I fell more and more in love with Dean.

We all see Supernatural differently and see in it different things. It's part of the beauty of this show, that we can all look at it from our own perspective.

I loved “Bad Boys” with great big capital letters that reach to the sky and block out everything else from view…


Geeze…I’m so sorry! I know this isn’t much of a review, or really even a review! Just a cascade of feels!

But I watch this show with my heart; I don’t know how to watch it any other way…

Because it’s kinda creepy and then there are these two brothers…
-sweetondean

SUPERNATURAL FAN FICTION: HEAVEN CAN’T WAIT – Missing scene from episode 9.07

It was a long night for Cass and it'd been a long few weeks for Dean. Nothing was going right. His friend was lost and lonely. His brother was possessed. He was screwed. This is the missing scene after Nora's and before Dean dropped Cass back at the Gas-N-Sip

Dean looked over at his friend. Cass was quiet.

"We should probably get you to a doctor" Dean said, motioning towards Cass' arm.

"I'm fine, Dean" Cass said, not looking at Dean but continuing to stare out through the Impala windscreen. "Just take me back to the Gas-N-Sip"

"Give me a look" Dean said as he leaned forward and reached out for Castiel's arm. He barely touched it before Cass winced. "Yeah, you're going to the doctor"

"Dean…"

"Cass, you're human now, man. You're not gonna just heal. That cut needs dressing and your wrist, well it looks broken to me. You need to get it looked at. X-rayed."

Cass finally turned and looked at Dean, his brows furrowed. He sighed a heavy sigh. "Dean, I just want to go home. I'm tired. I need sleep. I will be fine."

Dean raised one eyebrow. "Yeah okay Chuck Norris, but I'm taking you to the hospital. I've had enough busted bones to know when something needs fixing. And I don't know I'm ever gonna get used to you having to sleep." He started the car shaking his head. "You gotta be more careful, man. You break now."

Cass looked away. His face etched with exhaustion and sorrow. "Yes Dean, I know."

They drove in silence to the hospital.



"I don't suppose you've got insurance?" Dean said as they pulled into the hospital car park.

"Insurance?" Cass looked confused.

"Insurance. Your job, does it come with insurance? In case you get hurt?"

"I…I don't know." Cass frowned and looked at his hand.

"Don't worry about it." Dean reached across Cass into the glove box and pulled out a wad of cards. "Here, you're now Fred A. Staire." Dean smirked.

Cass frowned.

Dean sighed. Cass never got any of his jokes.



They sat in the waiting room as Cass filled out the hospital forms.

"Age" Cass said. "Infinite?"

Dean laughed. "Um no, Fred's 37. You're 37."

Cass wrote 37 in the box.

"Next of kin?"

"Just put, put me and Sammy, it doesn't matter, they ain't gonna need to call us."

"Am I allergic to anything?"

"Probably not. Not unless freaky Kevorkian angels is on there"

"No it's not"

"Well then, just put no."

"Sex? Um I…what…"

"They just want to know if you're a guy or a girl!" Dean laughed out loud. "Not whether you've…just put male." Dean chuckled, shaking his head.

The nurse came over to check on them.

"How you doing sweetie? All done?"

"Yes." Cass said and handed the nurse the clipboard.

"Okay, well let's get you into a room so a doctor can look at that for you."

Cass got up and looked over at Dean, concern wrinkling his forehead.

"You'll be fine, man. Just go with the nurse, she'll take care of you." Dean flashed the nurse his most winning smile. She blushed.

While Cass was gone Dean absentmindedly flicked through the channels on the waiting room TV, but he wasn't watching it. He felt like shit. He was tired as hell, but it went deeper than that. Cass had nothing. Nothing and no one. His date with his boss turned out to be a babysitting gig. Poor bastard. He was sleeping in the back room of his work. He had only the clothes on his back. And it was all on Dean. Dean kicked him out. He felt like a piece of crap… for something completely different.

What was he supposed to do? Zeke told him it was Cass or Zeke and if Zeke took off, where did that leave Sam? Dead most likely. Dead or dying. That was never gonna happen. Not on his watch. Sammy's always gonna come first. He was pretty sure if Cass knew, he'd understand.

But he couldn't tell Cass because he couldn't be sure Cass wouldn't tell Sam and he sure as hell knew Cass would tell Dean to tell Sam and that wasn't gonna happen either, not yet anyway, not until Dean was sure that Sam was gonna be okay.

How was he ever gonna know that though? He lay awake night after night thinking it through from every angle. What if Zeke didn't want out? What if he took Sam hostage? What if he took Sam over and Dean couldn't tell? Dean was already starting to get confused about whom he was talking to. He was already starting to look for signs. How could he sure he was really talking to Sam? He knew Sam better than he knew or wanted to know himself and he was pretty sure he could tell the difference, at least for now, but how long would that last? What if there came a time that he could no longer see the line between his brother and the angel possessing him? How would he get Zeke out?

He'd started secretly researching when Sam was sleeping. Going through book after book in the Men of Letters library, trying to find a way to expel an angel from a vessel if the angel was set on staying put. He hadn't found anything yet, but he wasn't giving up. He needed a back up plan. He needed to know he could get his brother back even if the outcome wasn't good. He needed to know he could do that for Sam.

Dean ran a hand down his face and closed his eyes. Everything was so good with Sam right now. They were getting on great, working together, laughing, hanging out. They had a home… It was the best it'd been since… Dean couldn't remember. Since before Hell and the demon blood and the apocalypse and everything that came after it. It was good. But for how long? Dean knew when Sam learned the truth he wasn't gonna be happy. But it was a risk Dean was willing to take, because if his brother was alive, it was worth it. Even if Sam never wanted to see Dean again, Dean could at least live, knowing Sam was alive…

Dean put his head in his hands and swallowed hard, the weight of the secret and the guilt sitting on his shoulders. It was never easy. Why was nothing ever easy.

He heard someone clear his throat. "Dean? Are you alright"?

Dean looked up to see Cass looking down at him, a light shining behind his head.

"Geeze Cass, with that light behind you, you almost look like an angel." Dean smirked a weary smirk.

"Not funny, Dean." Cass said turning away.

"Sorry man, I'm just tired."

"Is everything alright, Dean?" Cass looked at his friend, his head slightly cocked to one side, worry in his eyes. "Is there something you need to talk about?"

For a moment Dean thought about spilling the beans, just for a moment… But instead he simply smiled and stood up. "Nah man, I'm good. Give me a look at your arm."

Cass held up his newly bandaged arm complete with splint. "My wrist was broken. They said I have to wear this for 4 weeks."

"Yeah? You okay?"

"I'll be fine." Cass said as he looked at Dean, "How about you, Dean?"

Dean smiled, "You know me Cass, I'm always good. Come on, let me get you home."



By the time they got back to the Gas-N-Sip it was light. Dean pulled up and shut off the engine.

"Listen Cass, um back at the bunker, I ah, I'm sorry I told you to go, I know it's been hard on you, you know, on your own, but you're adapting. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Dean"

Dean smiled.

"But" Cass continued, "There's something Ephraim said. The angels they need help. Can I really sit this out, shouldn't I be searching for a way to get them home?"

Dean looked down. He knew the truth; Sam had called him to tell him. There was no way for the angels to get home. Not unless Crowley was lying, which was a distinct possibility. But was now the time to tell his friend? Dean searched Cass' worried face…

"Me and Sam will take care of the angels" Dean said, "You're human now, it's not your problem anymore."

Cass looked at Dean, opened the car door and got out. Leaning in the window he lifted his good hand and waved before walking away.

Dean started the car, what was one more lie at this point? He took a deep breath and drove away without looking back.

Thanks for reading! If you'd like to read more of my fan fiction you can find it here.

-sweetondean

Review - Supernatural 9.06 "Heaven Can't Wait"

Welcome Robert Berens. You did a very nice job.

I guess I wasn’t looking forward to this episode quite as much as some people. I’m impatient (in a good way) for what’s going on between Sam and Dean and the nasty road that’s taking us down and though I’m interested to see how Castiel is doing out in the big, bad, human world, not at the expense of the arc that I’m feeling the feels for this season. I'm just loving (terrified of) that story.

Sometimes when the Show has Sam and Dean having their own adventures or it concentrates more on other characters, I find it can be jarring, but not this time. New writer on the block, Berens, managed to walk that line many writers can’t, a standalone style episode deeply rooted in the mythology of the season, one that is driven by the all characters as opposed to the case. Let’s face it the case, in this..er…case, was really just window dressing. Pink window dressing. 

Misha Collins does little lost lamb so well. Those expressive big blues of his sure don’t hurt none! I enjoyed seeing Castiel’s struggle to integrate into our world. The simple joy he took in doing a good job, mundane or otherwise. The studying and copying of small, everyday habits, like stirring a coffee. The awkward high-five and over zealous good luck wishes to the lottery ticket woman…making him look a bit creepy! It was all very heart warming. 

Of course the real story is told by his toothbrush and sleeping bag at the Gas-n-Sip. He has no home. The words he spoke to the baby about being shoved out into this human life with no explanation for all the feelings, a hairs breath from terror or pain. He feels like he doesn’t understand anything at all, the minute he thinks he does, he's proved wrong. He’s confused. He’s lost. He misses his powers, his ability to help. This is how he’s really feeling. He’s trying to fit whilst juggling a whole lot of new emotions along with his old emotions of failure and guilt over his time as an angel. All this is what brought Ephraim to Cass…because he sensed Cass’ sadness and assumed that meant he didn’t want to live. Not being used to emotion, Ephraim doesn’t understand that, as Cass put it, humanity’s emotions ebb and flow. The baby helped Castiel recognise that both in himself and also in the fallen angels…how they must all be confused and struggling, even more so than Cass who a least has some experience with the human race.

With Misha’s sensitive touch, all this was communicated with a great deal of pathos and charm. Uncertainty is etched in his face at every turn, alongside occasional hope and desolation. Cass is trying so damn hard to fit. He may have experienced this world first hand for several years, but not the torrent of feelings that humans have whilst navigating it.

I literally moaned out loud when I realised that Cass’ date was actually with that baby! Oh my goodness. I was just hoping his boss wouldn’t see the rose! Aww. Poor Cass. Dating’s tough enough without having to deal with something like that! Heartbreaking.

The whole thing was so sad and ended even sadder. With that small flicker of hope for a little happiness or satisfaction in the new life he has chosen, disappearing before his very eyes. He started with nothing and ended with even less… A-Wahhhhhh! 

Dean’s interactions with Cass came across to me as overcompensating a little on the brightness factor! He feels crappy that he kicked Cass out, even though we get why and his reason, in his eyes, is sound, he’d obviously feel crappy about it, so he seemed to be being a bit perky to try and cover all that up. Desperately ignoring the issue as only Dean can do.

Seeing how his friend is struggling and how he admits to being scared is why I think Dean didn’t tell Cass about the angels. Here’s his friend, who told him “Here, at least I have a shot at getting things right.” His friend, who is weighed down with new experience and new emotions. His friend, who’s not doing so great and just had a seriously bad night but is trying so hard. I saw Dean’s not telling Cass, as simply him reading the situation and deciding, now was not the time. There are good times and bad times to break bad news. That looked like a really bad time to me too. I don’t believe Dean had an agenda on this one, except being conscious of his friend’s fragile state. 

I’d also imagine that he’d want to have a proper conversation with his brother about the whole thing rather than a few minutes on the phone, before he dashes his friend’s dreams completely. I couldn’t be mad at Dean for this one and believe me there are plenty of times I am furious at his behaviour, the more you love the madder you get! But I couldn’t put this into the, another lie basket. I think he just didn’t want to shatter his buddy…again...just yet.

I’m also not in the slightest surprised that in the end, Dean told Cass to go live his life and don’t worry about the angels, that’s not his job anymore. Dean has seen what hunting has done to him and his brother, his whole family, the bulk of his friends. If there’s a chance for Castiel to not get involved in the life and to try and find a place in the world without hunting, why would Dean not encourage that? Cass said that’s what he was trying to do; live normal. Dean wants that life for his brother, eventually, maybe even for himself, in places he doesn’t like to talk about, so yeah…why not Cass. 

Dean was almost uncharacteristically gentle with Castiel - with a side helping of overcompensating because of guilt. Not that Dean can’t be gentle, he certainly can, but Dean doesn’t say I love you, he doesn’t do love and you know, love. He shows it in other ways, like making sure his friend was dressed properly for a date or making sure he gave him tips on what Dean thinks chicks like (I’m quite sure Dean knowsexactly what chick like)…all that stuff was super sweet. It really warmed my heart. Cass was sad, Dean didn’t want to make him sadder. 

Though…he could give him a leg up! Bit of cash, fake credit card, set him up somewhere. Geesh. I’m sure Cass would accept a little help from Dean. I think it’s a bit odd that we haven’t seen that happen quite frankly, or at least mentioned that Dean has done that, because I think he would.

I also wished Dean had talked to Cass about the Ezekiel thing. Cass would be an excellent sounding board. He’d have a different view. He might be able to tell Dean something about Zeke. But he’d for sure tell Dean to tell Sam and Dean’s not ready to do that and obviously the Show’s not ready for us to hear any of that! So we wait…gnashing...as Dean stews and everything get's worse. Ack!

Meanwhile back at the Bunker. 

Dean managed to get out of research! He was tap dancing like Fred Astaire again, as he tried to convince Sam that he was just going on a reccy to check out a possible job not a real job and that he’s not going to see Cass, honest. I keep wondering how much of what Dean’s not saying he’s not saying for Sam and how much is to hide stuff from Zeke…who even though wasn’t in this episode, still seemed like a lurking presence!

The Crowley Sam dance was so fun to watch. I love how Sam just knew which buttons to press to get the King of Hell’s knickers in twist. He’s pretty easy is Crowley! Sam played him like Kevin Tran would play video games! Sam was awesome…especially that look he gave when Crowley tossed the paper in his face. That was gold. I also love how he always stares Crowley down as he closes the doors. It’s quite imposing (and hot).

The interaction between Crowley and Abaddon was fabulous. Gosh those two can chew up some scenery! I’m looking forward to their inevitable show down. Crowley is right, Abaddon’s methods can’t be maintained. Even in Hell, you’d have to have order. In fact, you’d think Hell would need even more order considering the inhabitants! It was interesting that their conversation ended with Crowley deciding to help translate the doodles. Was he just keeping to his agreement as he said, or is he starting to see that he’ll have to work with the Winchesters as opposed to against them if he has any hope of getting rid of Abaddon and getting back his Empire. By the way, “Ganky putrescent skanger” may well be the best insult ever!

And guys! Did you notice Abaddon was standing in front of Castle Storage? Recycled prop signage coincidence or is John’s storage unit still there and there’s something in it Abaddon wants?

I’m not so sure Crowley is telling the truth about the angel spell. Why did Sam seem so adamant that this time Crowley was telling the truth? I’m not so sure that’s all the God rock doodles said and I think the guys need to do more research on that…somehow. Hey, if Crowley can read that ancient, long dead doodle language…what about Zeke?

And what about Crowley and the blood? I have a few half-baked theories.

1. Crowley has been affected by the trials more than he cares to mention and he likes sensing his own humanity – so essentially, he was jonesing for a hit of feels. He’s turned blood junky.
2. He needs Kevin’s blood to flush out Sam’s trial’s tainted blood. Sam’s blood was being affected by the trials; he was undergoing some form of transformation, as was his blood, so maybe if Crowley injected some plain old human blood, it might counteract Sam’s blood and return Crowley to his feelingless, narky self.
3. He’s trying to continue the cure, because if he can get the demoness out, the Devil’s traps will no longer work – though the neck lock and handcuffs still will! So there’s that.
4. There’s something in the Prophet’s blood that will give Crowley power. I don’t know what that would be.
5. Crowley was being a dick and continuing to toy with Kevin.

There…that’s all I’ve got and it’s most likely none of the above!

Crowley was so great in this episode. The subtle changes in him. The cracks that are starting to show. I think the Winchester’s plan to keep him in solitary, along with the world he built crashing around him, is starting to chip away at our frenemy, Crowley. I like it!

There were a few other things that I liked or had thinky thoughts about…

I loved Cass singing the theme from The Greatest American Hero! That was my ringtone for the longest time! Plus, my goodness that was a cute baby!

What did the cops make of an FBI agent bringing Steve the Sales Associate to a crime scene? That made me giggle.

To that matter, what would the cops make of a crime scene that is covered in hot pink granulated human! Yuck. And Awesome.

Did you all notice that the sheriff was Mr Berrisford from the Dark Angel episode, “The Berrisford Agenda”? The one where Alec fell in love. So Jensen had worked with that actor, Michael Kopsa before.

I loved the teenager who had to explain “kinda” to Dean. My gosh, she was sassy.

I thought the new angel lore was cool and I thought it was really neat that the Kevorkian angel assumed that because Cass chose to be human, he was choosing death. It’s kind of true in a black and white way. Though did Cass have an alternative?

Cass’ quick thinking with the rose and the banishing sigal.

I always dig seeing the blood phone.

I loved Dean’s line “We’re not keeping him chained up for the one-liners.” I GUFAWED…at the hairdressers.

Kevin. I liked him and I liked him giving Dean lip.

Everyone looked really pretty! It was another episode where it was impossible not to pause and have love hearts fill your eyes!

I thought “Heaven Can’t Wait” was a lovely character piece and that’s what Supernatural’s all about, the characters, their relationships and the journeys they take along the way. Regardless of the same mistakes being made, I feel like over season 8 and now 9, we’ve seen a lot of growth in the members of our favourite dysfunctional family. Just makes me love them more and more. I found “Heaven Can’t Wait” a thoroughly enjoyable hour. I’m calling season 9… 6 for 6.

By the way...I can't wait for next week's episode! I'm predicting bro feels! Weeee! They've been making me squee like a fangirl this season. I'm loving that it feels like them against the world again...even though three's company and I know it's going to go pearshapped at any moment and all that (hopefully not for long). I'm just living in denial that it's all sunshine and lollipops in my Winchester World!

Thanks for reading.
-sweetondean

Review - Supernatural 9.05 "Dog Dean Afternoon"

Huh. That was pretty damn funny. You know how I said in my preview I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised? I was pleasantly surprised!

Let’s start with this… This episode made one of my dogs lose his (already tiny) mind!

From the first bark Teddy sat up in front of the TV and pretty much didn’t move. He barked back at the dogs on screen, he growled, he cocked his head to the side; he looked into the TV cabinet where my Blu-ray player sits, to try and figure out where the damn dogs were!
              

On my second watch, it wasn’t even the barking that got to him, it was the Colonel! When the camera zoomed in on the Colonel, Teddy barked at the TV and dived towards it, furiously wagging his tail! I was laughing so hard! Both at Dean and at my dumbass dog!

Anyway, I just had to share that with you, because it was awesome! Back to the episode.

Like I said, I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would and if I think about it (which you know I did), I liked it better than last week’s Oz episode. I think I smiled nearly all the way through “Dog Dean Afternoon”. How often does that happen with this show?

I know exactly why too. “Dog Dean Afternoon” felt old school Supernatural to me. It was just the brothers, on the road, running a case, sitting opposite each other at a Formica table in a crappy motel room while Sam researched. It was rock aliases (Poison) classic rock, light banter, plenty of shiny Impala, playing fetch. Wait. What? Heh. It even had the traditional ending of the brothers having a d&m over the car. *happy sigh*

Don’t get me wrong, I love the big myth-arc episodes and I’m totally digging this season’s Sam/Ezekiel arc and the sick to the stomach anticipation of it all going pear-shaped, but this episode felt comfortable and cosy, like a favourite pair of Supernatural socks. It was all Winchester, all the time and sometimes I miss that. It was the brothers being brothers and saving people and hunting things and stuffs and while I don’t need that each week, while I love the brothers having other characters to bounce off, harking back to what drew me into this show in the first place is never, ever going to go astray. In fact it’s going to be damn appreciated and properly celebrated. This show can be heavy with emotion, both theirs and mine. It’s nice to get an episode that makes you feel good all over, once in a while.

Of course, there was still the stonker of a lie going down and Zeke lurking inside Sam and we were reminded of the impending repercussions of Dean’s choice and secret and I think the penny well and truly finally dropped for Dean, but I’ll get to that in a bit…

I want to talk about doggy Dean first!

One thing I’ve always loved about Dean is how he rolls with the punches. Whack him into prison, throw him into the future, or back in time, or into an alternative Universe, or make him a dog…it doesn’t matter, he fits right in there. For a man who can be wracked with self-doubt and loathing, he can also be very comfortable in his own skin.

The fetch scene was perfection I laughed out loud. Great big belly laugh. It was so subtly played. Deadpan straight. I didn’t even notice it until Sam pointed it out! I think that’s why this hair-brained, concept episode worked; because the comedy was artfully played. JAckles shone. Is there nothing this (gorgeous) man can’t do? He managed, with a lovely, balanced, light comedic touch, to keep this pie in the sky episode, grounded. Bravo Mr Ackles. A lesser actor would have mugged his way through this, but not Jensen. His comic timing was impeccable. What a gifted guy.

The hunting case was fine, enough to keep me interested. The villain was villainous. I loved his line, “I’ve never had human heart before, heard it’s a bit chewy, good job I’m not a fussy eater.” The actor’s London accent set this line off a peach. English villains are the best!

The episode pacing was great! Seriously, it was a super quick 43 minutes. I liked the little nods to the tragedy of shelter animals, like the poor Miniature Collie with cataracts, who at 14 knew no one was going to come for her. Poor baby… And while I didn’t much care for the cartoonish voices of the various animals (the pigeon and mice were the exceptions), I loved their dialogue. Like the dog going, “I’m shaking the fence, boss. Still shaking the fence!” I literally yelped myself! Cool Hand Luke is one of my favourite movies. I also loved the old Golden Retriever who, when Dean let him out, ran off saying “Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!” I’m pretty sure if my dog could talk, bacon would be his first word!

The pigeon scene was hilarious. “Hey, dick move pigeon” “Screw you asshat”. Dean pulling the gun on the pigeon. Sam frantically trying to get Dean in the car. Only Dean. Only. Dean. Oh man, it was all pretty good stuff.

But what I totally loved was that while we were happily enjoying Sam’s face as he rubbed the belly of a dog who was openly hot for him, or Dean barking at the mailman, or scratching behind his ear, or worrying about insulting mice, or gleefully hanging his head out of the Impala’s window – nice to see Sammy driving the car by the way – the big elephant in the brother’s room was still there, festering under the surface of every conversation, with Dean constantly alluding to Sam healing, because he knows what’s going on inside his brother, even though his brother doesn’t. “Sooner you heal….” “I’ll do it, you’ve got enough on your plate…” Sam looks confused, more and more so. What the hell is Dean talking about?

There’s something in Dean’s actions that screams to me that he wants to be caught. I’m not saying that he consciously wants to be caught, but subconsciously. He’s lying terribly. He’s constantly about to put his foot in his mouth. And it makes sense for him to want to be caught, because in some ways having Sam call him out on the situation would be easier. It’s easier to go on the defensive when you’re under attack. If he goes in (as he should have done by now) with honesty and the whole story and lays it all out for Sam, sharing how he felt, it’s almost like he’d automatically be put on the back foot. He’d be vulnerable. But if he get’s caught out, he never has to face coming clean, he never has to start that conversation, start that confrontation, risk making that move with his brother, because Sam will start it and then Dean can stand his ground and respond. Of course, he’s probably still hoping against hope that Sam will never need to know… Yeah, right. Dean-ial.

Sam’s a smart guy and you can see everything’s starting to ring warning bells inside his head. Dean’s hanging sentences, his over concern where Sam is obviously looking and feeling great. The fact that Sam keeps forgetting how he ended up on his ass, or Dean calling out random names, or Sam being slashed across the throat, then miraculously healed and being asked “How the hell did you do that…I want to know what you are.” Sam’s thinking. How could he not be?

It’s not long now, people. Are we ready? (Noooo! Yes, yes, yes! Noooo! Meep!)

The other underlying thread of “Dog Dean Afternoon” reinforced this season’s theme of consequence. What are the consequences of the actions of our heroes? The consequences of stopping the trials, of trusting the wrong people, of bringing Sam back, of making life and death decisions that they have no place making. How is this going to play out and what price will they pay.

All this was thrown into Dean’s face in the shape of the Chef, who in trying to save his own life, took extreme measures and ended up losing himself and losing control of the thing that now, essentially possessed him and ruled his every move. In searching for a cure, he became less than human.

“He was all jacked up on juice, he was possessed by something he couldn’t control, it was *penny drop*...it was, ah, a matter of time before it completely took over *suspicious/warning look to Sam/Zeke*.”

Maybe living at all costs isn’t worth the price. Doc Benton taught us that lesson way back in season 3.

Plus, with Zeke constantly being put into a position where he must use his powers, what is that doing to the angel within? As Sam get’s stronger, Zeke seems to get weaker. Sam conked out for an awful long time this week. It took Dean a lot – and the threat of a lick on the face – to wake him. What if Zeke isn’t strong enough to leave Sam and survive? Let alone strong enough to leave Sam and find a new vessel! What will the “one of the good guys” angel do then?

Dean is on one hell of a rollercoaster and he’s taking us with him. He’s lying to his brother and obviously feeling horrible about it, doubting at every turn that he made the right move, doubting the being he has put his trust in. What happens if the line between Zeke and his brother becomes blurry. If Dean starts to question who he's actually to... I should say "when" because it already seems to be happening.

On top of all this, Dean's people keep dying or almost dying right in front of him and week on week he’s faced with looking down at them, begging for them to come back.

And he can’t tell a soul…

The whole thing, from beginning to end is heart breaking.

But in typical Supernatural style all of this super serious, angst inducing stuff was packaged in a delightfully whacking episode, giving us emotional whiplash as only Supernatural can do. Eric Charmelo and Nicole Snyder did a bang up job with the script, delivering what was a MOTW story, but never losing sight of a major element of this season’s big picture.

Dean’s predicament was treated with affection so that no matter what, he never looked out of his depth or like a buffoon. A lot of writers have struggled with that in the past. EC & NS showed Dean can be smart and kickass, even when he’s transformed into a dog (more or less). I may love them a little for that. I’m not saying I’ve forgiven them for the Mannequin fiasco, but I am saying, next time they pen an episode, I’ll go in a lot more optimistic.

Yep. I liked “Dog Dean Afternoon” a hell of a lot. Whoda thunk it!

-sweetondean