I’m going to say straight up, I thoroughly enjoyed this week’s episode. I’m also going to say straight up, I’m considering not writing this week…in fact, I find myself considering throwing in the towel altogether. There were some comments that I saw around the traps that were so negative, that, well…something broke inside me. I know it sounds dramatic, but it did.
Why bother anymore? Why spend hours of my time, sharing my views and passion with a fandom that I now consider fractured beyond repair. I do. It’s smashed. It’s done. It’s over. What I loved about it, pretty much no longer exists.
I see so much anger and bitterness and hate. Emotions I don’t even understand. Commentary that is beyond my comprehension in its loss of perspective and outrage. It’s got to the stage where the fandom, and yes, I am generalising here, is ruining for me, this show I love with all my being. I now watch each episode with half my mind going, oh these fans are going to hate that, or those fans are going to hate this. I know, before the episode is over, exactly what’s going to be flying around the internet.
It didn’t used to be like that.
I don’t blame the show, I can’t, because for me it’s the same wonderful show it’s always been; probably more so. I blame the culture of allowing disappointment in a specific storyline, or character or representation of canon not meeting personal expectations, to explode into nonsensical vitriol. I see angry, angry words… I don’t get it. I simply do not get it.
This is a TV show. That’s all. Something to be enjoyed. Something to entertain. If it’s no longer meeting those standards for you, then you need to consider whether it’s still worthy of your attention.
I don't need everyone to like every episode, we all have different opinions, we all see different things, but it's got to the stage where no episode is safe from bombastic lambasting and that's simply soul destroying. When you literally dread the aftermath of every single episode, you need to assess whether all the time and emotional energy is worth it.
I do this out of love and right now, I'm not loving it. I’m tired. Really, really tired. I’m a strong person…but this fandom is shattering my spirit. But more importantly, it’s destroying something I hold precious… and I’m not sure I want to be a part of that any more.
I do this out of love and right now, I'm not loving it. I’m tired. Really, really tired. I’m a strong person…but this fandom is shattering my spirit. But more importantly, it’s destroying something I hold precious… and I’m not sure I want to be a part of that any more.
I hope this passes. I expect it will. I expect I will be writing up my review this week as usual, because otherwise, the loud and negative minority wins. But right now....my heart is broken and I can't see a way forward in my sadness.
